The Blogs, They Are A'Changin'

Recently, a couple of my "Interviews With Bloggers" subjects have been changing their blog efforts in the face of shifting life priorities and varying interest levels in their favorite topics.

Mark of Exclamation Mark's Vintage SciFi/Horror Review has changed gears and stopped his thorough and fun but time-consuming reviews of the B-Movies of yesteryear to focus on the equally fun and nostalgic but less demanding Exclamation Mark's Site For Sore Eyes, in which he showcases a very engaging series of vintage images from ads and ephemera of years gone by.

Similarly, Mr. Bali Hai of Eye of the Goof, has been processing some low-level dissatisfaction with his blogging project, and is reconsidering his motivation and interest. As he says, "I don't know what kind of 'blog this is any more: pop culture, tiki, weird links, art, or all of the above. I've felt like this before, and usually it's a sign that I'm burnt out and need to take a break to recharge my batteries, so that's what I'm going to do. If the past is any indication, it won't take long for me to stumble across something that gets my juices flowing again and prompts me to start blogging again."

Sounds familiar. I get bored easily and, with the demands of my work on The Bastion (and other areas of life) lately, I've been finding it hard to define exactly what I'm doing here with Bella Rossa, and if I need to reshape my efforts into something more clearly defined, something more structured, something more...something. (Mmm...nice and vague. See what I mean?) Time will tell how things evolve here.

Space Shuttle News - Waiting on Pins and Needles

NASA will announce today who will be awarded the contract for their next fleet of space shuttles, this time around known as CEV's. At 4:00 today, a press conference will inform the public whether Lockheed Martin or a partnership of Northrop Grumman and Boeing will get the job, which is worth over $18 billion over the next ten years.

Last week it was unintentionally announced that the new project is called Orion, the fuss over which made me laugh, because I'm so cool that I already knew the project's name. Yes, I am a giant nerd for all things space-related, but also, one of my cousins is an engineer who works for one of the firms in the running for the next generation of shuttles, and we've had several chats recently about spacey-type things. (Yes, he is now officially my new favorite cousin. The one with the condo at Lake Point Tower is OUT! Sorry, chump.)

Ultrageeks will recall that Orion was also the name of a never-quite-realized plan, conceived by Stanislaw Ulam and Cornelius Everett in the late 1950's, and further explored by notables like Freeman Dyson, to use nuclear pulse energy to propel spacecraft over longer distances.

And, of course, it was a plot-hinging McGuffin in that crappy space movie that starred Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. ("There is a galaxy in Orion's Belt.")

Anyway, cross your fingers for my cousin and his company.

(EDIT: Dangit! The contract went to Lockheed Martin. Sorry, little cuz.)

What the Hell is Wrong With Paula Abdul?

I was thinking Oxycontin, but this actually makes me think heroin, especially around 1:28 in this clip. What the hell?

Let a Dude Hug You For 20 Seconds, And You'll Trust Him

Recent studies uncover some very interesting specific differences between the brains of men and women.

"Women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion, while men have a small country road... (men) have O'Hare Airport as a hub for processing thoughts about sex, where women have the airfield nearby that lands small and private planes."

Also, girls, be careful which guys you let hug you, because 20 seconds into a hug, our brains release oxytocin, which triggers the brain's trust circuits and creates a bond between huggers.

This makes me wonder about that "I'm grabbing you aggressively, and I'm smacking your back while I'm hugging you" hug that guys give each other some time. Are they trying to do the "I'm totally not gay" hug, or are they warming up for the "I'm going to trick you into trusting me" hugs on chicks? Hmmm.

(Via SF Gate)

William H. Macy: Lohan Is a Twit

Okay, so he didn't use those exact words, I did. But William H. Macy did say, of Lindsay Lohan's habitual lateness, "There is not an apology big enough in the world to have to make 150 people scramble. It's nothing but disrespect. And Lindsay Lohan is not the only one. A lot of actors show up late as if they're God's gift to the film. It's inexcusable. They should have their asses kicked."

Maybe my work ethic is a little too Midwestern and Catholic (and, yes, it's kind of pointless to say that Lindsay Lohan is a spoiled idiot one more time), but it kind of blows my mind that anyone getting paid millions of dollars to look pretty and say six or seven words at a time would have the cojones to show up late for work and make hundreds of hard-working people stand around waiting for you while your assistant dabs off your coke sweat and you smoke one last cigarette.

Although, in this day and age, with titans like Tom Cruise being knocked off their pedestals and having huge business relationships pulled out from under them, maybe studios will have more leverage against spoiled stars and have the muscle to stand up to their bratty selfish behavior.

Fast-Forwarded Gestation

Time flies when you're gestating a new human being. You almost expect her belly button to pop out like a turkey timer at the end. Wow! (Via EnjoyYourDigitalLife)

Bling Kitty

Silver-capped teeth. They're all the rage among the fluffy set.

What It Feels Like...To Have Two Vaginas

An embarrassment of riches.

"I lost my virginity twice. The first time was when I was eighteen. Then I lost the other side two weeks later. To the same guy. You'd think I could have saved one of them for marriage."

P. Diddy Claims "Sexy" As His Own

P. Diddy seems unaware that a single word does not constitute a phrase.

Mr. Mouthbreather recently said of the equally self-enamored and annoying Justin Timberlake: "I'm a big fan of Justin and he's allowed to use my catchphrase 'sexy' and run with it. I mean, I got it from somebody else, so it's all good. (But) I am the king of the sexy, Justin. Let's not get it twisted." 

Dear Drunk Dudes in Game Day Wrigleyville,

(Somehow, every time I end up heading to i.O. for a show or to meet a comedy person, it's always game day, and the streets are packed with drunk people, and I'm always alone and/or on my bike, which apparently are two key things you need to prompt drunk morons to leer and suavely try to chat you up. I've never felt as smug about being sober as I have while braving these crowds. And I don't like feeling smug about anything.)

So, Dear Drunk Dudes,
To answer your most frequently asked questions:

1. Yes, I know my hair is red.
2. No, it's not real. I ripped it off Lindsay Lohan's head.
3. I'm getting on my bike and going home.
4. No, I don't want a beer.
5. No, I can't agree with you that "WOO!"
6. Yes, I know my hair is red.
7. Yes, you are the first person tonight who's told me I'm "hot." Am I the first person tonight who's told you you're drunk? Really drunk. And, dude, it's not even dark yet. Ease up.
8. No, I won't give you a ride on my bike, or on my anything else.
9. No, it's not that I don't like baseball. I love baseball. Especially playing it. Fielding ground balls, stealing bases, stuff like that. When's the last time you picked up a mitt? You don't seem to really like baseball as much as you like beer, yelling at random strangers on the street, and acting like a dumbass.
10. Yes, I know my hair is red.

I Keep Meaning to Mention This

There is one peculiar visual feature of my neighborhood that I am struck by (almost literally) when I'm out on my bike all the time, and yet by time I get home, I forget to write about it. Finally, today, I remember! Lucky you.

For reasons some brilliant demographics specialist could probably explain with some complex algorithm, there are several very specific types of people in my neighborhood who I encounter in the bike lane with alarming frequency.

Picture this: you're biking the right way on a one way street, sticking to the bike lane you're supposed to be in, and a shoeless, morbidly obese person in a motorized wheelchair comes blazing, in the wrong direction, heading straight for you. At top speed (whatever top speed is for one of those things). You swerve to get out of their way, sometimes putting yourself in a precarious position vis-a-vis cars, and they don't even give you an appreciative head nod.

Honest to god, there are four or five such people, men and women, in my 'hood, and they play chicken with me in the bike lane all the time. Can someone please help me understand this phenomenon? I am baffled.

Bunnies Eating Green Beans

Need some cute? Here's one full day's worth. What? Every post has to be complex and profound? No. There's room for cute and fuzzy, too. I'll bet looking at this for 30 seconds will actually improve your blood pressure, and boost seratonin in yer noggin.

(The cutest part, in my opinion, is the slipping feet of the bunny on the right...watch at the very beginning as he repositions his little bunbun paws when he dips his head into the bowl for snackies.)

Blue Angels From Lake Point Tower

An uppermost floor of Lake Point Tower (right by Navy Pier) is a pretty great place to watch the Chicago Air and Water Show, as I know now, having spent part of Sunday afternoon there with family, watching the Blue Angels scream across the sky with
stunning aerial precision.

I zoomed up the elevator almost to the top of the schmancy residential building to hang, munch on some Jimmy John's, and enjoy a spectacular view of the lake and the aerial show. (Did you know you can actually see Michigan across the lake? I didn't. Now I've seen it for myself. It's pretty fantastic.)

It was a little jarring to be listening to a radio broadcast that described the happenings while actually watching them occur (not to mention being taken by surprise several times as the F-18's snuck around the sides and top of the building and skipped right in front of our eyes).

The radio broadcast told us that over a million people were there to gawk and enjoy the beautiful weather, which doesn't surprise me a bit, considering that I had to hop off the bike trail and detour through city streets on the way there and back to avoid the thick and slow-moving crowds, and make actual progress on my journey to and from my neighborhood. At any rate, it was a pretty great afternoon.

Interviews With Bloggers Part 20: Chancelucky

The Bella Rossa Interview With Chancelucky.

Chancelucky is a California blogger who first caught my eye with his "The Book of Judas, as Told By Karl Rove" post over a year ago, and uses his blog to share efforts at fiction as well as reflections on how weird it was to find a 43-year old picture of himself in an elementary school band online. He's versatile enough to write straight political stuff followed by silly celebrity blurbs like this comparison and contrast of Woody Allen and Steve Martin. He's ready to lay out his opinions on American Idol silliness right beside posts about Condoleezza Rice, which just goes to prove that what makes a blog fun enough to go back to again and again is good writing, no matter the topics covered. Oh, and random fun trivia, he once rode his bike from Los Angeles to New York.

BELLA: What current books, music, tv, movies, hobbies, sports, etc., are currently holding your interest?

CHANCELUCKY: Because I now spend so much time in front of the computer counting
my hits, I had to think a bit. Ron Suskind's One Percent Solution. I
also recently read a history of the Opium Wars by Travis Hanes and
Frank Sanello which is kind of the British version of our war in Iraq
in that going to war to force another country to buy narcotics was
controversial back then. The British invaded anyway and got Hong Kong
out of the deal along with the right to sell drugs to China.

The writer I've been meaning to get back to is Jorge Luis Borges, one of my posts "The Ancestor Room" was inspired in a very obscure way by Borges's "The Library of Babel".
The connection would be much less obscure if I actually understood
Borges.

I'm a big Harry Potter fan as well. My younger daughter and I have read all 6 books aloud together.

Music: I only listen to music that Randy Jackson has either
produced, played on, or had some other direct connection to.
Fortunately that's about everything that can be put on Mp3. I sometimes
make exceptions for Bud Powell, Shirley Horn, and anything on Blue Note Records up through 1965. Every once in a while, Steely Dan, Rickie Lee
Jones, and Cheryl Wheeler. In other words, I have a geezer's taste in
music and sort of a snobby one at that.

Movies: I really like Bollywood. Also my wife can't understand why I
watch teen movies. She has never forgiven me for making her go see
American Pie 2, because I insisted that the first one was funny. I'm
also the only person I know who found any parts of Johnny Knoxville's The Ringer funny. I have a weak spot for Farrelly Brothers' movies.
In
a galaxy far far away, I did work for a movie producer for about a year
in a very peripheral capacity where the high point was getting to see
first hand that Tom Cruise was much shorter than Nicole Kidman. Being
around the people who made the movies totally warped my taste. For
instance, the people on my softball team there thought Mars Attacks was
the funniest movie ever.

Television: I watch reality tv. I watched American Idol for 3
seasons so I could talk to my kids about it. I suspect they've never
read my reviews though or at least would never admit to it. I suspect
I'm the only person in America who watched both weeks of ABC's "The One." Now that it's cancelled, I'm sure I am the only one.

I
also have always been drawn to the dating/mating shows, because I was a
nerdy asocial teenager. My wife grew up cute and popular and still is
both of those things. I may be the only person in America who saw all
episodes of Average Joe and actually have watched whole episodes of
Parent Control, Elimidate, Fifth Wheel, and Next (I wouldn't have
been allowed to get out of the bus). I even still follow the Bachelor.

Hobbies: I collect stuffed images of Stuart Little and other stuffed
members of the rodent family through E-Bay including a Hamster that
sings Kung-Fu Fighting. I believe that Stuart Little is the most serene
member of the animated cartoon character pantheon and E.B. White's
book traces an American version of the story of the Buddha. Sadly, the
rest of my family does not share my beliefs and my Stuart icons often
get thrown around the house by them.

I also like to bicycle, but
always stop riding whenever I get more than three flats in a month.
Since we have no money to maintain roads in California, I haven't
ridden as much as I used to. I rode from Los Angeles to New York once.

Sports: I've played pickup basketball since I was 13. It's gotten
harder to do as I've gotten older because I don't own a pickup truck. I
would watch world cup soccer, but it's too "pitchy".

BELLA: How would you describe your blog?

CHANCELUCKY: It's green. It has pictures on it. I check it constantly for signs that
anyone else in the world has looked at it. I'd worry about what a
psychologist might think of me if he or she read it.

BELLA:  Why
do you blog? What was your original goal or intention when you started,
and has that changed with time? Is your blog a means to an end (finding
work, developing creative ideas, making money, meeting people), or does
it exist for its own sake?

 CHANCELUCKY: I've written most of my adult life with very limited commercial
success. I used to get very excited about writing something I was proud
of, but then obsess over trying to get it published which kept me from
writing until it did (which almost never happened) and gave me writer's
block whenever it got rejected or just ignored (which almost always
happened).

I figured if I had a blog, I could pretend that people were reading
it or at least could and I could then move on to writing the next post.

My understanding of my own blogging changes constantly. I think of
Chancelucky as an extension of myself that really doesn't exist
offline. In regular life, I'm the sort who goes to parties and
dinners, leaves early, and comes home without actually talking to
anyone including whoever I went there with. I also tend to ask more
questions about others than I answer about myself. Blogging seems to
let some other side of me out. It's sort of like "Chucky", the
psychotic doll who is more or less inanimate when people see him but
who wanders around in the middle of the night when no one notices and
lives his other life. It happens that "Chucky" is an abbreviated
version of "Chancelucky." I think that was just a coincidence, but
I'm not sure. Wanna play?

BELLA: Is there one particular post that you think exemplifies your work, or represents your best writing?

CHANCELUCKY: I think of myself as a fiction writer, so the fiction posts are
actually the most important to me. I currently like My Father's Paradox, which
sat in my head for almost twenty years after I met and talked to Daniel
Ellsberg's first wife. Hardly anyone reads the short stories on my site
though, which probably should be telling me something, but "Chucky"
won't let it go.

BELLA:
How often do you Google yourself, check yourself on Technorati, see how
many people link to or bookmark you, and/or pore over your referral
logs and visitor statistics?

CHANCELUCKY: This is like asking alcoholics how often they drink.

BELLA:
Is there one particular post that garnered you an atypically large
reader response or number of referrals from search engines? If so, why
do you think that is?

CHANCELUCKY: My American Idol reviews have been really popular because I think
there are a lot of people out there who realize that the show really
shouldn't be taken all that seriously. Of course, the irony is that I
spent all those hours writing posts that joked about people taking the
show too seriously.

Blogcritics.org brought me a bunch of readers for those posts as did Sirlinksalot.
I
should mention that I was heavily influenced by Daniel Drennan's
reviews some 10 years ago of Beverly Hills 90210, a show I also watched
with my daughters. He eventually got a book contract out of it, but
he's one of these individuals who probably influenced how a lot of
people blog about tv more than he gets credit for. (Damn, I keep ending
sentences with prepositions.)

I've also noticed a similarity between my American Idol Reviews and
Dave White's reviews on the Advocate's webpage. Since Drennan and Dave
White are both gay, I'm a little scared that the Conservatives will
find my blog and annul my marriage.

The single most poplular post on my blog is the Book of Judas, which was one of my early entries in what became my Karl Rove
series. The weird thing is that no one read it for several months until
it turned out that there was a "real" Gospel of Judas that wound up
being about exactly what I suggested Karl Rove's Book of Judas would
read like.

I'm not sure what Fundamentalist types think when they find it, but
God hasn't revealed anything to me since. My script for Rambo Four also
gets a lot of hits, but there's no sign that anyone's actually read
it and Sly has not sent me any early rushes of the real Rambo Four. 

BELLA: What are some of your favorite, "must-read" blogs? What keeps you going back again and again?

CHANCELUCKY: I like blogs that are personal and individual, but by people who can
write reasonably well and have things to say. Funny helps a whole lot
as well.

Pogblog.blogharbor.com is an old real life friend of mine who loves
to play with words in bogglingly inventive ways and writes about
politics from a Mayan-futurist perspective.

GSMSO is the mother of a soldier who died in friendly
fire in Iraq who wants to keep other parents from having to go through
what she has. She's very raw and seems to keep picking up power in her
blogging voice with each post.

Pissed off Patricia and Coffee and Varnish also came to my attention
fairly recently and share a quality of silly, serious, and sarcastic at
any given moment that I like to think happens in my own blog. I also
like your blog.

BELLA: What kind of person is the likeliest reader of your blog? What would you hope they get out of reading you?

CHANCELUCKY: I fully expect that a description of anyone who reads all of my blog
would be in the DSM IV somewhere. I have 4 different audiences with
Chancelucky. 1) volleyball folk 2) progressive political folk 3) people
who read pop culture reviews 4) the two people who read my fiction.

It does all link together in a weird way. The volleyball got tied to
a "parents' rights" movement in junior volleyball. Teen girls are a big
part of the Idol audience. A lot of my fiction is about cultural
artifacts that get stuck together unexpectedly like say volleyball,
reality tv, and Karl Rove in bicycle shorts.

If I have a common message for those audiences, it's speak up for yourself, but read the original sources first.

BELLA:
Are there people in your life who don't "get the whole blog thing?" How
do you explain it to them without feeling as nerdy and defensive as I
usually do?

CHANCELUCKY: Most don't, particularly my immediate family. They think I'm nerdy and
defensive anyway, so there's not a lot to explain. As my older
daughter told me, "Wow, I have to tell you it's weird that you
write about American Idol."

BELLA: What's your relationship with your readers? How much interaction do you encourage?

CHANCELUCKY: I've become online friends with a couple of the people I've
crosslinked. Most started as commenters on my blog or with my
commenting on theirs. I like to socialize online. I guess because in
person and on the phone, I'm not very interesting. I'm happy to
exchange e-mail, talk on the phone, etc. I do draw the line at phone or
cyber sex with any of my blog readers. It's not like there's
anything wrong with that, but I'd go broke really fast having to pay
them for the service and have a hard time explaining it to my family.

BELLA: How much do you self-censor, knowing that your friends and family might be reading?

CHANCELUCKY: Enough to keep some plausible deniability in my offline life.

BELLA:
Have you ever heard yourself say something like "If you really cared
about me/were really interested in me, you'd look at my blog"? Is this
a fair thing to throw at, say, your sister, during an argument over who
gets the nicest drumstick at Thanksgiving?

CHANCELUCKY: Not many people I know in the offline world know that I blog. I've
noticed that when I do tell someone, I have this very unrealistic
expectation that that person will suddenly become a regular reader.
Do
they have turkeys with three or more legs in the Midwest? The turkeys
who wander my neighborhood in California only have two drumsticks so we
only argue about who gets the "nicer" drumstick while hitting one
another over the head with the Chicago Manual of Style.

BELLA: Do you video blog? Would or will you? Are there any video blogs that you look at? What would you video blog about, if you did?

CHANCELUCKY: I would if I knew how and had a better video camera. I actually got inspired to look into it by some of your video posts.


BELLA: Have you ever blogged something that later you regretted and/or deleted from your blog?

CHANCELUCKY: Well, one time I misread a pentagon casualty report and thought I had a
major story about the misreporting of fatalities in Iraq and as soon as
I picked up the mistake had to take it offline right away. Fortunately,
no one actually saw the thing before I caught the mistake. It was an
interesting experience in learning to read governments and how it's
easy to get excited and post something before you've double-checked
everything.

I have a loved one who has a traumatic brain injury, so I suspect I'm
more sensitive to the "wounded" totals than many folk and maybe
that's why I rushed the post.

BELLA:
What are your thoughts on the phenomenon of "doocing," wherein someone
loses their job because of things they posted on a personal blog? Are
you careful to maintain a clear line between your online self and your
real world self?

CHANCELUCKY: It makes me think of Neal Stephenson's "Snow Crash" for some reason. I think of
my blog as an extension of me but not necessarily me. I keep them
separate for that reason, but am increasingly aware that they share a
psyche. When I start e-mailing or IM'ing with myself, I'll really start to worry. Personally,
though I believe work requires you to do certain tasks but no one owns
your mind. I see blogging as an extension of one's mind, or self. It's
like speaking through a keyboard. Unless you work in a Cistercian
monastery, the question should be are you getting your duties done?

BELLA: Are you conscious of creating an online persona? How is that persona different from the real world you?

CHANCELUCKY: My blog self is taller, better looking, has fresher breath, and is way
more attractive to women. Blog self also never throws cross court no
look passes on the fast break. Blog self is also much more assertive
and riskier than my offline self. I suspect that's why my wife doesn't
like my hanging out with my online self. We did fool her once, that was
the night she started calling out Chris Daughtry's name. I probably
shouldn't have revealed that, but my online self took control there for
a moment. Stuart Little didn't approve and refused to speak to either
my online self or me for almost a week after that. I had to get his red
convertible washed and promise him that I would use Strunk and White as
my style reference from now on.


BELLA: How long have you been online, and what kinds of things have you done online (chat rooms, message boards, games, aimless surfing, etc.)? How has this changed your life, for the better or worse?

CHANCELUCKY: I started online in 1991 though I had e-mailed some in 1987. I surf
aimlessly constantly in hopes that I’ll find some metaphysical truth
hidden in the web. I think of it as a modern version of the Oracle of
Delphi.

The online obsession has impacted me in some weird ways. I
start sweating and hyperventilating if I can't get on the web for more
than a few hours. I now hear news and think about ways to blog about
it. A friend was having a baby and was asking me about names and all my
suggestions started with "http://www." He got really mad when I told
him that his surname wasn't a valid domain.

I was filling out my driver's license renewal the other day and put my ISP in as my home address.

Fortunately, I'm not addicted or anything. That would be really bad.

BELLA: How long do you think you will continue to blog? What are the circumstances under which you can imagine yourself quitting?

CHANCELUCKY: They'll have to take the keyboard out of my cold dead hands. I'd say
I'd quit once I'm brain dead, but right wing bloggers keep going
anyway, so....I mean how many oxycontin do you have to have your maid
buy for you before you actually fry your brain?

I wonder if they'll have little blue pills for guys who can't get their post or hit counts up anymore?

BELLA: What's the coolest thing that's come out of your blogging experience?

CHANCELUCKY: I'm writing much more than I ever have and reaching more readers than I
ever did before thanks to a technology that didn't exist when I started
writing. I also value many of the friendships I've made through my blog
even when the friendship is nothing more than a kind word in a comment
or someone linking me.

Interviews With Bloggers Part 19: Collin of "Fizzle and Pop"

The Bella Rossa Interview With Collin of "Fizzle and Pop."

Collin is a graphic artist in Colorado who is busy negotiating the vagaries of homebuying, and recently wrote something very funny about a weight loss spam that landed in his inbox. He writes cool posts that track the evolution of arts projects he does for work, as well as stuff like clips of videos that make him laugh. Lately he's been rocking out to Dinosaurchestra, by Lemon Demon, is still puzzled about what, exactly, the "fizzle dance" is, and encourages all bloggers to embrace their inner nerds.

 BELLA: What current books, music, tv, movies, hobbies, sports, etc., are currently holding your interest?

COLLIN: I've
always been into gaming, both video and traditional, however I'm not
terribly interested in sports. The only TV I watch anymore is on DVD.
For awhile I was keeping up with the current shows I liked by
downloading them through Bittorrent, until I got a cease-and-desist
letter from CBS. And it wasn't even a cable show. Regular old broadcast
television. Can you believe it? As for music, I'm quite happy with my
recent purchase of Lemon Demon's new CD, "Dinosaurchestra".

BELLA: How would you describe your blog?

COLLIN: It's a place where I try to be funny and artistic, occasionally at
the same time, with varying degrees of success. I used to try to post daily. These days, not so much.

BELLA:  Why
do you blog? What was your original goal or intention when you started,
and has that changed with time? Is your blog a means to an end (finding
work, developing creative ideas, making money, meeting people), or does
it exist for its own sake?

COLLIN: Originally my blog
started after I told my long-time friend and coworker Derek that he
should start one. He said he would if I did. I said "yeah, sure" not
expecting anything to come of it. Then he did it so I had to as well.
I've kept up with it, for the most part since. His site gets two to
three times as much daily traffic as I do. Not that I'm bitter. There
was a time around the end of the first year that I hoped it might
attract some attention and turn into a huge creative springboard that
would catapult me to happiness. That lasted about three months. Now
it's more like a rusty old ironing board that I use to smooth out the
unsightly wrinkles in my brain.

BELLA:  Before
the advent of blogging, was there any similar activity that you
enjoyed, that served a similar purpose (keeping a written journal,
participating in newsgroups, etc.)? If so, how is blogging different from/better than that previous activity?

COLLIN: I had sketchbooks for
my drawings, and for a few years before the internet took off I would
goof around on local BBSs, participating in group writing projects and
thinking up games to play in text only chatrooms. It was totally geeky,
but that's nothing I shy away from. Blogging is different in that it
has the potential to reach a much larger audience than my previous
activities.

BELLA: Is there one particular post that you think exemplifies your work, or represents your best writing?

COLLIN: I've
learned that I'm not even remotely qualified to determine what is the
"best" of anything I've done. I'm just too close to most of what I do
to be able to view it objectively. Also, judging by comments, I'm
almost continually surprised by what my readers like compared to what I
think they will like.

BELLA:
How often do you Google yourself, check yourself on Technorati, see how
many people link to or bookmark you, and/or pore over your referral
logs and visitor statistics?

COLLIN: I used to be fanatical in my
tracking of visitors to my site until it just got too depressing.
Yesterday I checked my "Free Hit Counter" for the first time in months.
It was still depressing.


BELLA:
Have you ever noticed funny, unlikely referral links from a search
engines that, while a logical word-for-word match with stuff you have
on your blog, are puzzling?

COLLIN: The
largest amount of search queries I have are related in some way to
"fizzle dance". I have no idea what this "fizzle dance" is, but a lot
of people seem to be looking for it. I hope they aren't too sad when
they don't find it at my site. Unrelated I've had five people arrive
looking for information on "bangin hos". I'm sure they didn't leave any
more satisfied than the fizzle dancers did.
 

BELLA:
Many bloggers say that the best thing that's come of their blogging
experience is the connections they've made with people - meeting new
people and sometimes reconnecting with old friends. Has this been your
experience?

COLLIN: Indeed. I haven't reconnected with any old friends,
but I feel that I've made a few new ones. Probably not the kind of
friends that will loan me money or take a bullet for me, but certainly
people worth talking to and sharing ideas with.

BELLA: What kind of person is the likeliest reader of your blog? What would you hope they get out of reading you?

COLLIN: Someone
of impeccable taste and culture. Someone for whom only the best will
do. Someone with multiple cars, servants and houses in the country.
That person: slumming. Seriously, though, I have no idea if my site
attracts any particular type of person and there are times when I
wonder that it attracts anyone at all.

I
hope that anyone visiting my site manages to find something that amuses
them, either in my writing or in my art. Occasionally I might do a
"serious" post or illustration, but that's not the norm. It's not what
I like to do. I really like to be entertaining or amusing.

BELLA:
Are there people in your life who don't "get the whole blog thing?" How
do you explain it to them without feeling as nerdy and defensive as I
usually do?

COLLIN: I'll bet my dad wouldn't get it. He doesn't even
"get" computers anymore. Or DVD players. I also haven't bothered
telling him about it because I really doubt he would "get" my sense of
humor either, assuming he ever visited the site. My girlfriend,
Heather, is a blogger as well so she gets it. My brother blogged for
about two weeks and then gave it up because it wasn't his thing. My mom
will occasionally visit my site to look at my artwork. Beyond those
people I don't really discuss my blog around the fleshy world. If I had
to explain my blog I probably could without feeling terribly defensive.
As for nerdy, heck, that's a daily feeling that I no longer fear. My
advice to you would be to embrace your inner nerd.

BELLA: What's your relationship with your readers? How much interaction do you
encourage?

COLLIN: Some
of my readers are friends, relatives and people who actually know me in
person. The rest I know very little about. I encourage comments and
even emails, but I pretty much draw the line at hanging outside my
bedroom window or camping in my Kia.

BELLA: How much do you self-censor, knowing that your friends and family might be reading?

COLLIN: Quite
a bit. Knowing that my mom and my girlfriend's mom are occasional
readers of my site keeps me from talking about some things I might
otherwise, as well as making me more aware of my language. There are
some stories about growing up that I would love to tell, but there
would be no end of crap from my family if I did. That said, I'm still
willing to make fun of spam promising penis enhancement, so I guess I
don't censor myself too much.

BELLA: Do you video blog? Would or will you? Are there any video blogs that you look at? What would you video blog about, if you did?

COLLIN: I
don't video blog, and doubt I would, because I'm sure that would be sad
for everyone and there are enough tears in the world already. However I
have gotten involved in doing a weekly audio podcast with Derek which
has been interesting so far.

The only two video blogs that I
check out that I can think of offhand are Ze Frank's "The Show" and "It's Jerry Time", both of which I really enjoy.


BELLA: Have you ever blogged something that later you regretted and/or deleted from your blog?

COLLIN: Oh
yes. A few months back one of our coworkers told the owner of the
company where Derek and I work about our blogs and how entertaining
they were. Derek didn't really talk about work much on his site. I
occasionally did, and some of it could have been considered
unflattering; although no names were mentioned. So I went into panic
mode and went back through every post to the beginning, looking for
anything work related. Even if it was minor, I pulled it. I haven't
deleted anything else though.

BELLA:
What are your thoughts on the phenomenon of "doocing," wherein someone
loses their job because of things they posted on a personal blog? Are
you careful to maintain a clear line between your online self and your
real world self?

COLLIN: To be honest, I think it sucks. But I'm also
very aware of it, which is why I panicked when the "higher ups" found
out about my site. That wasn't a situation where if I'd hidden my
identity any better I would have been saved. That was a case where
someone who knew the site was there and mine outed me to them. So a
clear line probably wouldn't have helped much. Luckily I haven't been
"dooced" yet.

BELLA: Are you conscious of creating an online persona? How is that persona different from the real world you?

COLLIN: About
the only difference between my online and offline me is I'm far more
outgoing online than I am in real life. I'm actually a pretty quiet,
low-key guy.


BELLA: How long have you been online, and what kinds of things have you done online (chat rooms, message boards, games, aimless surfing, etc.)? How has this changed your life, for the better or worse?

COLLIN: I'm not sure what year I first "logged on" to a BBS,
but I do know it was on an Apple IIc using a 600 baud modem. Upgrading
to 1200 baud was awesome. I have done chat rooms, message boards, games
and hours upon hours of aimless surfing. I would say that it has
changed my life for the better by exposing me to all kinds of things
that I never would have seen or heard of otherwise. Okay, "goatse" I
could have done without, but most of the rest of it was totally worth
it.

BELLA:
Do you think blogging is a viable way for people to make money? Have
you ever been able to earn any dough from your blog? If so, will you
give me some?

COLLIN: If it is, I haven't met those people yet. I will make a
promise to you though; if I find a way to make money using my blog I'll
share the secret with you, if you'll do likewise for me. Deal?

BELLA: How long do you think you will continue to blog? What are the circumstances under which you can imagine yourself quitting?

COLLIN: I
guess I'll blog until I can't anymore, either through lack of time,
lack of computer or government intervention. Or until I finally have
nothing left to share with a mostly disinterested world. Whichever
comes first.

eBay and the Fall of Western Civilization

Saved By The Bell shower gel. Zackberry scented.

DVD Giveaway Trivia Contest

My interview subject Nick at DVD Trash is running a DVD giveaway trivia contest, if you feel like competing for 3 Mighty Men from Onar Films, Gen-X Cops, Nine Deaths of the Ninja/Killpoint (Double Feature) and Dario Argento's latest, Do You Like Hitchcock?

Says Nick:

All you need to do is answer this easy question:

What is the name of the Turkish actor who plays the dastardly Kilink in the series of movies recently available from Onar Films?

In addition you must complete a quick tie-breaker:

"I read DVD Trash everyday because..."

Today's Celebrity Offspring in 2026

Whee! I dunno, I think Zahara Jolie-Pitt looks a little too plastic. Rocco Ritchie looks like he's been punched in the nose a few times. Sean Federline looks like Ashton Kutcher with a little too much eyeliner and stubble. And darn, I'm pretty sure Lourdes Leon will have had her brows waxed by 2026. Just a guess. But wow, Coco Arquette sure is a cutie, now and then.
 

Wipeout! And a Realization

I was coming home from writing class Sunday, enjoying one of the most beautiful days of Chicago's summer on my creaky and rusty but fun 1977 Schwinn Metro, when I experienced my first official Chicago bike wreck.

As my loyal readers know, I experienced an urban rite of passage a few weeks back when I had my beloved mountain bike stolen out the back door of my office...while I and three others sat very nearby.

True to form, my wonderful parents made the very touching gesture of completing a seven hour roundtrip from my hometown in Indiana a few days after my loss to bring me a $15 garage sale bike, which was initially supposed to serve as a temporary replacement until I found something more like my original bike. (As an attempt to quantify the power of their parental love, let's run the numbers: 7 hours in the car, and $65 in gas to bring me a $15 bike, and drive me to the bike store to buy a $40 lock. Priceless.)

As it happens, I'm also now the lucky owner of a brand-new mountain bike (tags still dangling from the handlebars) that my brother nabbed for a fraction of the retail price at a weekend market, and yet somehow I'm still riding my vintage granny bike, with its delightful foldout rear-mounted baskets and piddly three gears. I like it a lot, but I admit the brakes aren't the best. I have to literally stand on the pedals and put all of my weight and strength into coming to anything resembling a quick stop.

I was heading north on the lakeshore trail, approaching a congested area in a park, where tennis players and ball game attendees and dog-walking families cross the path going to and from their cars. I was going at a cautious slow pace, anticipating a right turn toward the tennis court area, where I was going to plop down on the grass to soak up some sun and catch up with some loved ones on my cell phone.

I was at what I thought was the far-right of the path, but unbeknownst to me, a speedy fellow on a racing bike was on my right shoulder. When two people with a chocolate lab made a move to step in front of me, I braked, and then Mr. Speedy made a noise of alarm. The people and dog stepped back, but I swerved, lost my balance, and went down on my right side. Mr. "Watch Out" glanced back and kept going. Nice, dude! I know it was my fault, but couldn't you stop just out of concern for a fellow human being? The dog couple helped me up and brushed me off. Thank god I didn't entangle anyone else in my wobble-and-plant.

My bike is fine, my leg is a little bruised, my right hand is slightly scraped and bruised and sore. I'm lucky I was going slowly. Landing on your hand that way is a great way to jam and shatter your wrist and incur nerve damage.

The really scary thing? The adrenaline rush was exciting. Enjoyable, even. Once my heart rate resumed its normal pace, I felt exhilarated. I felt like doing something daring.

I might be more of a risk-taker than I've realized.

(Coming soon...interviews with the very patient and understanding Fizzle and Pop and chancelucky.)

The Secret of My Appeal

No, it's not my charm, my wit, my encyclopedic knowledge of the works of Isaac Asimov, or even my flowing Titian locks.

A recent search that led someone here to my blog: "check out my large tits."

Aw...MSN Search sure knows how to make a girl feel special.

Office Workers Waste About 2 Hours a Day

From the Sun-Times: "A new survey by Salary.com and America Online found the average U.S. worker fritters away 1.86 hours per 8-hour workday -- not including lunch and scheduled breaks."

Interesting that the survey was conducted by AOL, because also this week, AOL published a history of search queries of over 650,000 of their members. They yanked it once people cried "privacy violation," but of course it was cached online. What a fun way to discover how people are wasting their time online! And how disturbing. From CNET, excerpts from one user's searches:

"university of kentucky football
hold'em poker school
ways to kill yourself
suicide by natural gas
how to kill oneself by natural gas
assisted suicide
suicide by overdosing
how long does carbon monoxide poisoning take to kill a person
over dose ways to commit suicide
university of kentucky 2007 football recruits
texas hold'em poker on line seminars
employment needed- louisville ky"
 

Star Trek Inspirational Posters

Star Trek Inspirational posters. They hit all the high points, including the sexual tension between Kirk and Spock, and the unnamed Ensign doomed to never return from the away mission.

Alternate Paths, Fresh Bait

Sunday I walked home from writing class at Second City, up the beach and bike trail. Not all the way home - I was dropped off about halfway. But it was a long walk. Usually, I ride my bike or take the train. But Sunday I felt like taking a different pace, and a different path.

I worry that I unthinkingly fall into patterns and routines and don't expose myself to all the great things city life has to offer, and don't give myself a chance to see all the thought-provoking, creativity-inspiring, and just plain fun things Chicago provides.

That's why I moved here, after all. That's why I left all things familiar, the only home I'd ever known, and a comfortable professional life - to explore new things, and find unforeseen opportunities. If I made the choice to subject myself to the anxious uncertainty of a totally new life, I should be more mindful of enjoying the advantages of this decision.

So I walked. I called family on the phone along the way, chatting and catching up. I stopped for water. I paused to gawk at cute kids, and talk to people about their dogs. I watched fisherman flop big wet scaly monstrosities on the grass by the lakeside.

One thing I wouldn't have learned had I not taken that way home: popular bait among the Montrose Harbor fishermen, as they try to nab Lake Michigan's finest finned flappers includes crickets, hot dogs, pizza chunks, and Cheetos.

(Yeah, I started out all poignant and reflective, and then took a sharp turn into Cheetos. How ya like that?)

Interviews With Bloggers Part 18 : Claire Zulkey of Zulkey.com

The Bella Rossa Interview With Claire Zulkey of Zulkey.com.

Claire Zulkey is a Chicago writer who, with her friend John Green, started the "Funny Ha-Ha" series of literary humor readings, which is a hilarious night of readings from books, monologues, sketch comedy, and a short film or two. She will receive her Master's in Creative Writing from Northwestern this spring. Claire edits MediaBistro's MBToolBox, an invaluable resource for freelancers, and has been published in ElleGirl, the Chicago Tribune, Glamour and Modern Bride. She has scored interviews with authors and comedians you probably already know and love, and has published a very funny book called "Girls! Girls! Girls!" 

BELLA:
Claire, I gotta give props. My humble "Interviews with Bloggers"
project was inspired by your series of interviews with writers and
other creative people,  including T. Coraghessan Boyle, Augusten
Burroughs, Andrei Codrescu, Eugene Mirman, Dan Savage, Andy Borowitz,
Susan Orlean, and Michael Ian Black. How did that project get started,
and what's your secret to getting so many well-known people to
participate?

CLAIRE:
For some reason I knew when I first started that I wanted to do
interviews every Friday--it just seemed like a fun project, a fun thing
to look forward to and end the weekend with. So it started with family
and friends--the secret to getting the more well-known people is Neal
Pollack.  It's true.  A friend of mine was pals with him and told me to
ask him to do one. Neal was my first author who people other than just
my friends knew--once you have that 'bait', once you can tell one
famous person that you've interviewed  another famous person, you sound legit.

BELLA: You've said that you love Chicago, and you love
being a writer in Chicago. What is unique about the writing community
in Chicago, and under what  circumstances would you consider living
elsewhere?

CLAIRE: It's hard for me to really compare concretely as I've
only really lived here and no where else as a writer: I'd probably just
be speculating. But it does strike me as being more supportive than New
York--probably just a matter of numbers, since we're smaller, there's
less space to compete for.  I'd live anywhere (well, anywhere I can get
Diet Pepsi) for a period of time but I'd always want to return here. My
boyfriend is a filmmaker though for instance and I tell him if he ever
needed to go to NY or LA then we'd do it, since he moved here to be
with me.

BELLA: We live in an age where instant communication and
access to information make writing a different proposition that it was
even ten years ago. If you had come of age as a writer before the
advent of the internet, what do you think your writing and your life
would look like right now?

CLAIRE: It's hard to say. I don't know that I could say I'd
have the perserverence to keep trying without the internet's ability to
get instance gratification, quick communication and ability to
multi-task. Sitting at home and typing up stories and putting them in
the mail and then waiting for the mail to come...that might drive me
crazy.

BELLA: You once said that your number two favorite movie is
"Gone with the Wind." As it happens, the man who designed the jewelry
for that iconic film was my Great Uncle (who was also from Chicago). In
your estimation, does that make me cool?

CLAIRE: That depends-did he create Ellen O'Hara's earbobs? (Ed: Darn, I don't know. Probably?)

BELLA: You interviewed "A Million Little Pieces" author
James Frey in 2003. What was your reaction when the shit hit the fan
last January, and it was revealed that he had fictionalized a lot of
what was supposed to be a "true story?" Did you feel for him as he sat
on Oprah's couch, squirming under her disappointed gaze?

CLAIRE: Yes, absolutely. You know I can see some people's
point of view about what happened to him but I think a booing on
national television was too much. And honestly when the whole story
came out it didn't really bug me as a reader because I had read the
book a few years previously and the things that were in question
weren't a part of my memory of the book.  He'll come out of this and do
great--and I'm totally biased and subjective of course because he's
been a nice guy to me and that goes far.

BELLA: I'm guessing you've been a fervent reader since you
were quite young. What are some of your favorite childhood reading
memories?

CLAIRE: My mom always read to my brother and me when we were
younger, and definitely the most fun was Roald Dahl. I'm tempted to go
into a detailed reverie about where we sat for the readings and what
our little routine was but that's kind of sappy.  Also I enjoyed the
excitement of a new Baby Sitter's Club book.  And the Ramona Quimby
books were great.

BELLA: What are your regular must-reads in terms of online content and periodicals?

CLAIRE: Basically the Chicago Tribune is my homepage so
that's my news. Then the rest of it is gossip, other than the research
I do for mbtoolbox.com.  So please don't ask me for a detailed rundown
of what's happening between Israel and Lebanon. I just know it's bad
and I'd prefer then to think about Brandon Davis' unserious attempt at
rehab.

BELLA: You wrote a funny book called "Girls! Girls! Girls!"
Is it true that that project came about through the realization of the
fondest dream of many bloggers (i.e., an unexpected e-mail with an
offer to publish you)?

CLAIRE: Yes, it did. I got an email from a Ben Brown and in
it he professed that he loved me, which is always an intriguing email
to get from a stranger.

BELLA: You and John Green host "Funny Ha-Ha," a series of
literary humor readings that also feature sketch comedy and what we've
been told are brilliantly twisted short films by Steve Delahoyde. How
did that get started, and what part of the "Funny Ha-Ha" events is the
most fun for you?

CLAIRE: John and I started it because we realized we knew a
whole lot of funny writers who maybe didn't get enough exposure, so we
just wanted to do something fun like that. It was going to be a
one-time thing but the turnout was so huge that I felt this Catholic
obligatory thing to keep it going. Again, I'm being very biased but I
date Steve so it's always great when his videos get good laughs.  And
I'm always happy when the show is about 2/3 over because then I can
relax AND be on stage.

BELLA: What would you say are essential tools and resources
for aspiring young writers? The Writer's Market? A MediaBistro account?
A copy of the Chicago Manual of Style? A flak jacket?

CLAIRE: It depends on what a writer wants to accomplish I
think.  But lately I'm just amazed by the advice available online for a
nominal fee.  Ask Metafilter.  Freelance Success.  Those sort of
things.  I'd rather ask a couple hundred real people something than
look it up in an old reference book.

BELLA: Sometimes young writers discount the importance of
networking, and putting in "face time" among other writers and creative
people. You seem like a good example of a writer who realizes that life
is not an entirely text-based experience. How important has socializing
and mingling been to your life and career?

CLAIRE: I feel a lot of it has been luck: a lot of people I
genuinely like and respect have good things happen to them and then
share the wealth. So, have talented, generous friends! Once you do
that, you find that you don't have to network as much as you'd think.

BELLA: And finally, well-placed sources tell me you're one
of the "best connected people in Chicago." You write for lots of
publications in lots of styles and formats, you produce events, you do
film - where would you like to see your creative explorations go in the
next ten years?

CLAIRE: First things first: I want to publish a second book!