Einstein Want Hug! Robots Need Love, Too!

From Hanson Robotics' Hubo Lab, a two-minute video clip of the robot version of Albert Einstein. Cool, and yet creepy. It's that whole "uncanny valley" thing.

This Post Is a Total Waste of Your Time

Bella meets the Big O.

Overstock.com, that is.

Their latest Bella Rossa-related offering: a fug fake "Tiffany style" accent lamp. (What's the difference between a regular lamp and an accent lamp, anyway? Does this lamp speak with a bad French accent? A Rosanna Arquette bad French accent?)

This is not a paid ad, incidentally. It's just me being lazy and indulgent with the self-referential googling. I was hoping to find links to interesting discussions people were having about my blog, but of course no such things exist.

I'm certainly not talking about the lamp because it's fetch, only because it happens to bear my name.

Heck, if I had a spare $44.99 (plus shipping and handling) sitting around, I would be heading to the mall for some new jeans and a hot pretzel or something.

Wait...omigod...this lamp operates on a line switch! And the 60-watt bulb is not included! And the sell out risk is ranked as HIGH! Where's my debit card?!

Project Alcoholic Greenlight

Watched the first disk of the first season of "Project Greenlight," which is interesting for many reasons, one of which is that Ben Affleck appears to be drunk or hungover in most of his scenes. Functioning, and getting by, but bleary-eyed and slurring, with a bit of the fratty, bear-hugging impulse slipping out here and there.

And yeah, I chose the most unflattering picture of him that I could find to accentuate my point. I'm sure he's cleaned up his act now (five years later), since he's a family man, but, wow, what a drunky drunko. Watching him drunkenly flirt with Miramax top dog Meryl Poster in an attempt to get her to let her guard down during a long and stressful production meeting is pretty funny. Tipsy biology majors can deliver a line with more finesse and complexity that he did in that instance.

In related news, who has heard anything from the project "winner," Pete Jones, in the last few years? Poor guy. He probably thought his future was cemented the minute he won the contest. I wonder if he's back here in Chicago now. Hope he doesn't read my blog.

Bella's Ponytail Becomes a Point of Contention

Three homeless men in Little Chinatown (AKA Uptown) have helped me to understand that to ask a young woman to "take me home and keep me forever" is acceptable behavior, but to touch that young woman's ponytail while telling her she has "nice hair" is crossing the line.

There was actually an argument among these men that continued for a few sentences after I crossed the street (against the light) to get away from them. Man #1 seemed to feel a need to defend my honor, in some weird way, after finishing his slurred pitch for my affection, when Man #2 reached out to touch my hair. "Don't touch her! You can't touch her!" he scolded.

Silly me, thinking that running my errand in broad daylight (noon) would make me less likely to run into this kind of thing. Guess not. Such is the power of my no makeup, winter-burned bright pink cheeks, and grubby ponytail mojo. Watch out, homeless Chicago. I'm here to break your hearts.

Latest Showbiz Publicity Ploy I'm Not Buying

Yes, of course, Donald Trump is a megalomaniac. And a short-fingered vulgarian who probably doesn't realize he married a heavily altered Slovenian man.

Yes, he talks crap all the time. Yes, he's competitive, and he probably would like to see Martha Stewart ground into a fine powder and sprinkled across the Hudson Bay. (And no, I don't have much love for her either, since she seems about evenly matched for him in the unchecked lust for money, power, and glory category.)

But this latest round of celebrity ego war just seems phony. La Trump is going for extra print, and extra Google hits, and extra publicity, and he's getting it.

Trump also offered Stewart some advice: "She should just go into the sunset, relax, have her little daytime show, and have it do as well as it can do, which isn't particularly well."

"Essentially, you made this firing up just as you made up your sell order of ImClone," said Trump, in the letter's most caustic remark.

(Source: AP/Yahoo)

Just don't look, folks. Just don't look.

The 50 Best Robots Ever

From creepy HAL 9000, to '80's cultural icon Kitt, the "useful" and "efficient" Roomba, the cute and doggylike Aibo, all the way to Optimus Prime. Wired gives you the rundown on the history of (real and imagined) robotics.

A Girl's Guide To City Life: Chicago

From the website: "There's a new guide in town, ladies, and it promises to share "the best of the best" from some of the world's most fashionable spots."

Double Your "Ew"

What's with this trend of having female siblings and family members pose provocatively together? Does this bother anyone? The Olsen twins have been working the fused-pelvis, aren't we sexy (in a well-dressed lemur sort of way) thing for some time. Now, old photos of an American Idol contestant and her sister posing in suggestive clothing are hitting the net. Okay, that's not as nasty as the "Gastineau Girls" (mother and daughter) posing in a naked photoshoot together, but...oh...I think I just totally grossed myself out. Gotta go.

The Grace Lee Project

The Grace Lee Project. Interesting.

When Korean American filmmaker Grace Lee was growing up in Missouri, she was the only Grace Lee she knew. Once she left the Midwest however, everyone she met seemed to know "another Grace Lee." But why did they assume that all Grace Lees were reserved, dutiful, piano-playing overachievers? The filmmaker plunges into a funny, highly unscientific investigation into all those Grace Lees who break the mold -- from a fiery social activist to a rebel who tried to burn down her high school. With wit and charm, THE GRACE LEE PROJECT puts a hilarious spin on the eternal question, "What's in a name?"

Koza and Cairo - Megacuteness

My readers know what a sucker I am for the interspecies cute animal stories. Here's the latest, this time from San Diego.

Koza the baby lion's mother gave birth to twin lions by Caesarean, and then lost one of the babies. She was weakened from the difficult delivery, and deemed unable to care for the baby, and so they were separated.

In an attempt to get Koza to learn how to socialize with other young mammals, his keepers have gradually introduced him to Cairo, an Italian mastiff puppy.

At first there was some friction, with Cairo playfully nibbling on Koza's ears, and Koza being a little peeved by this "how do you do." But gradually they have become more relaxed and playful with each other, sharing food from the same bowl, and gnawing on chew toys side by side.

The best part is how Cairo pounces on Koza, chewing on him like he's a Nylabone, with no care whatsoever for the fact that eventually, Koza will be a fierce 400 pound carnivorous predator, while Cairo will top out at about 90 pounds, and likely spend much of his life in a suburban backyard full of tulips, while not napping on a leather couch in front of a widescreen tv.

Here's a link to the photo gallery of "awwwwww....."

(Source:signonsandiego)

Cranky Bond Fans Plan To Boycott Film

This is on the heels of their collective decision to boycott anything resembling a normal, non-fixated life, as well.

"EON Productions angered fans around the world when they fired Pierce Brosnan at the height of his popularity as Bond," said a statement on the site. "To add insult to injury, EON cast a short, blond, odd-looking Daniel Craig in the role of Bond."

"Craig, described by The New York Times as having a 'pale, flattened face and large, fleshy ears' is a terrible choice for Bond. If EON Productions and Sony Pictures will not accept they've made a big mistake, then Bond fans promise to boycott Casino Royale!"

(Source: AP/Yahoo)

Point Break Live!

A friend is going to attend an absurdist stage adaptation of the 1991 Keanu Reeves/Patrick Swayze/Gary Busy skydiving surfing bankrobbers classic "Point Break."

From the nytheatre.com link, an explanation of the shrewd casting of the Keanu role:

The starring role of Keanu will be selected at random from the audience at each performance; the lucky winner will read the script off cue cards. The press release notes that "this method manages to capture the rawness of a Keanu Reeves performance even from those who generally think themselves incapable of acting."

Geekery Knows No Bounds

I've been doing some broader blog reading lately, looking for some new viewpoints and information, and getting exposure to some hard core techy stuff in the process. Thanks to the Scobleizer Microsoft Geek blog, I now know what edge cases, early adopters, and liminal spaces are. And I know that blogger geeks can be just as passionate about their stuff as tinhats are about theirs.

The Steve Guttenberg Project

In the spirit of the Gutenberg Project, digitizing and preserving cultural works since 1971, now there is the equally laudable Steve Guttenberg Project, which hopes to amass every single piece of Guttenbergian acting ever committed to film. Even that thing where he spent the whole movie pretending to be tough and Australian in an attempt to woo Jami Gertz, that one with the Olsen twins, and, of course, Amazon Women on the Moon. The director of the project will just have to hold her breath for Police Academy 5, which is actually in pre-production right now, as well as being a punchline for hacky standups throughout the universe.

An Indistinct Distinction

I don't know why this keeps bothering me, but I can't nail down the difference between parody and satire. Even this lawyerly discussion of some Supreme Court pondering of the point leaves me unclear. Anyone?

"Parody needs to mime an original to make its point" about the original. Satire was regarded as directing its ridicule toward society at large, or at least not solely toward the original. Because "satire can stand on its own two feet [it] requires justification for the very act of borrowing."

(Source: The Patry Copyright Blog)

Chappelle, Now Doherty Celebrity Conspiracy Hoaxes Exposed!

(Why do I feel like a stringer for the Star whenever I type titles like that?)

The Chappelle Conspiracy was entertaining, but not true. In fact, it was, as lots of people guessed early on, part of a viral marketing campaign. Mission accomplished!

Now there's the "Pete Doherty Hoax", also amusingly constructed but silly.

...Doherty, real name Trevor McDermott was making a paltry living as a Buddy Holly impersonator, it is claimed. Being a general trampy arsed buffoon, the duo quickly realised that this toad would be ideal for their grand duping...

(Source: Gawker)

However, those nasty rumors about a Scott Stapp/Kid Rock sex tape? Painfully true. (Link NSFW.)

I Don't Dislike Lucy, Per Se...

Home at the moment, and bored enough to plug in the TV and flick through the local fuzzy televised offerings. "I Love Lucy" was on.

There must be some generation gap issue here, because while I find it interesting, I don't find it all that funny. I want to. But I can't.

Then again, almost all old black and white films and shows look ancient to me, like artifacts, and seem so culturally far removed from anything I recognize as modern, that they just don't compute. I know she was groundbreaking, and important, and all that, and that's cool, but I wish it made me laugh, too.

My next question might prove my cluelessness. Here goes. What was the big deal about her being a redhead when the show was in black and white? (Colorized DVD box notwithstanding.)

A Shameful Admission

I have largely ignored recent Olympic activity. I saw some snowboarding last night, and was thoroughly puzzled by it. That's the extent of my mass participation in the Olympic Movement.

Alberto Gonzalez Smirks, and the Liveliest "Coot Off" You've Ever Seen

Awesome footage from the Daily Show of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales answering question after question about unauthorized NSA wiretaps with "I would be uncomfortable addressing that..."

That is, until Sen. Patrick Leahy cracks wise with "Of course, I'm sorry, Mr. Attorney General, I forgot you can't answer any questions that might be relevent to this." Gonzales then lets go with a smirk, and it's fantastic.

Almost makes me wish I had cable tv. Some of that Senate floor stuff is unexpectedly hilarious. Two aged senators whooping it up with all kinds of Daniel Webster drama, to the point of ridiculousness.

Henry Darger and the Realms of the Unreal

Earlier this year I saw the documentary about the late Chicago "outsider artist" Henry Darger, and his 15,000 page fantasy manuscript called "The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion."

In Darger's fantasies, orphaned and constantly imperiled but valiant Catholic school girls save the universe from fantastical monsters and cruel overlords.

Darger had a terrible childhood and, after his mother died and his father was unable to care for him, he was raised in abusive and emotionally barren institutions like the Illinois School For Feeble Minded Children. He was rejected from military service, socially maladapted, and channeled all of his frustrated energy into his works, in which he sometimes made a guest appearance as a brave hero and defender of children.

He worked for decades in anonymous menial jobs, had very little contact with the outside world, and worked every night for hours and hours on his secret watercolor masterpieces of fantasy and fable. The religious imagery in his art reflects his devout Catholicism, and his androgynous Vivian Girls hint that his social isolation both in childhood and adulthood may have been so extreme that he literally didn't know the anatomical differences between males and females.

Recently a dance company in Maryland has staged a show based on Darger's works. From Dance View Times' review of that show:

Girlish games of hopscotch turn sinister as they quicken, distorted by flinging arms, unruly heads and muddled footwork. Repetitive semaphoric poses, a hand on the cheek, a palm at the heart, hands at the ears, suggest a secret language, child-like but formidably complex in execution.

In 1984, an artist named Paula Regos was also inspired to do a series on canvas after learning of Darger's Vivian Girls. From a Tate article about Regos:

...the brilliantly fluent and mischievous sequence of paintings The Vivian Girls, inspired by Henry Darger’s extraordinary, epic scroll novel, populated by heroines, part Enid Blyton schoolgirls, part Surrealist femmes-enfants. Furiously intent young women, capricious, cruel, wilful in their confined domesticity...

Vietnam Decrees No Alcohol in Karaoke Bars

Duh, Vietnam, successful karaoke requires alcohol. Why don't you just ban clear heels from strip clubs?

Karaoke bars in Vietnam will no longer be allowed to sell or have alcohol on their premises as part of the country's continued campaign against so-called 'social evils,' a government official said Friday.

(Source: AP/Yahoo)

Harry Whittington's (Fake) Blog

Fake blogs are great. Remember the Fetus Spears one? And the Lindsay Lohan one? Now "Harry Whittington" has one. His favorite song? "You Give Love a Bad Name." Favorite movie? "Magnolia." Also, he doesn't seem too upset about the whole "shot in the face" thing:

Have you ever been in a situation where somebody you thought was your friend did something that hurt you very much, and then they tried to blame it on you? And then that person waited 18 hours to report it to the media, and that person's colleagues tried to make a joke out of it, until you had a heart attack? Just wondering.

My Creepy Valentine

Things aren't what they used to be...thank god.

In Valentine-y (but not creepy) news I took a very nice walk on the beach this afternoon, as Chicago experienced rather unbelievably nice sunny weather.

It feels like spring is really coming (although I'm sure we'll have plenty of frost between now and then). It feels really nice.

Twice I walked past young couples who were strolling with a single male friend, who each time smiled and said "Happy Valentine's Day!" to me.

Aw, 21-year old Loyola students who are implausibly young for me are so cute. Almost makes me not wanna nuke someone.

Ancient Cave Art Full of Teenage Graffiti

Adolescent boys. Where would we be without them? We might have them to thank for the genesis of art. Some kinds, anyway.

"In the graffiti, there is a lot of below-the-belt-art," Guthrie said. "The people in the art are predominantly women, and not a single one has any clothes on."

But these weren't just any women, they were Pleistocene Pamela Andersons adorned with ludicrously huge breasts and hips. The walls were also decorated with graphic depictions of genitalia.

(Source: Live Science)

Hugh MacLeod (gaping void)'s "How To Be Creative"

"How To Be Creative" (long version, with a link at the top to the short version).

Bella's First Birthday!

Today, my blog celebrates her first birthday. Cue "The Way We Were," and smash some cake into your piehole. Almost 600 posts, and still as sassy as ever. Look at what am ambitious ball of fire I was when I first blasted this Redstone into the stratosphere:

"Early Experiments Produce Mixed Results"

And it just KEEPS getting better.

(P.S. Regular readers - and I know I have a couple- take this opportunity to send me an e-mail and say hi. Or give me some birthday cheer in a comment. Seriously. I want to know who my readers are. Who are you? How did you find your way here? Don't be shy. Join the party. Pimp your own blog, while you're at it. I wouldn't mind.)

James and Sarah Brady Comment on Cheney's Accidental Shooting

Good stuff.

"Now I understand why Dick Cheney keeps asking me to go hunting with him," said Jim Brady. "I had a friend once who accidentally shot pellets into his dog - and I thought he was an idiot."

"I've thought Cheney was scary for a long time," Sarah Brady said. "Now I know I was right to be nervous."

(Source: USNewswire)

Bella Rossa...izzle

My "About Me" bio, run through the Gizoogle filter:

Name:BellaRossa
Location:Chicago

Gizzay . Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. Comedy writa in train'n. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. Information oriented. Compulsive pusha. Sporty ridin' in mah double R. Science is an obsession upside yo head. Historizzles degree wit da big Bo$$ Dogg. B-to-tha-izzorn n raised in Indiana. Enjoy'n mah new urban life, especially tha CTA, variety of skanky boys, beautiful parks n bike trails, n tha density of fun n opportizzles. Fond of kittens n lip gloss, though not simultaneously . Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. High-volume viewa of documentizzles n foreign movies yaba daba dizzle.

Cheney Accidentally Shoots Fellow Hunter, 78 Years Old

He is pictured, at left, getting a gun from the president of the NRA. Today he mistakenly shot a 78 year old man while aiming at a bird. Friendly fire still stings, Dickie. It really does. Especially on a large scale miscalculation like, you know, a war.

Your RDA of Cute -A Bunny Stealing a Cookie

An extra large picture, to allow you to absorb more of its nourishing, healthy Vitamin Awww. From Cute Overload.

What Mice Can Tell Us About Bullies, Stress, and Depression

Scientists subjected mice to 10 straight days of such bullying and found that the defeated mice avoided bullies even four weeks after their initial beating.

In fact, they were so traumatized that they avoided all other mice as well—even those that were smaller and more docile.

"For both mice and men, social status is important; for mice, losing to a dominant mouse usually means that they avoid the dominant and they avoid social situations," said Thomas Insel of the National Institute of Mental Health.

When researchers gave the mice the human antidepressant drugs Prozac or Tofranil, social interaction improved. The treatment resembled that for depressed humans, said the study's senior author Eric Nestler of the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center.

(Source: livescience)

A Note to Techno-Clumsy Husbands - Don't E-mail Your Hookers

Why Denise Richards ever thought marrying Charlie Sheen would turn out to be the most wonderful thing in life is a mystery in and of itself.

Charlie Sheen tossed away his chance at marital bliss when he sent his wife Denise Richards a cyber message that was supposed to go to a hooker named Debbie, according to published reports. The couple was vacationing in Barbados when Richards received the message.

(Source: zap2it)

The Liquor Store Family

Someone found a trove of anonymous family photos at a swap meet in California. The photos have been assembled to inspire the amazement and wonder that the finders experienced while going through the photos. A creative writing teacher could have a heyday with having students fill in the blanks about this colorful bunch.

...we purchased two hefty photo albums filled-to-the-brim with family photos of a hitherto unknown family. We haven't yet taken the time to look at the back of every photo to try to figure out the family's name. We have noticed that a lot of the photos feature family members standing in or in front of a nice-looking, fully-stocked liquor store.

(Source)

Brokeback Sims

It was just a matter of time. Somebody at Mod the Sims has put together two amazing Brokeback Mountain Sims. Let the role playing begin! While I'm on the topic, does anyone know of any good Sims blogs, like Mo Pie's Sims 1 site?

Pink's "Stupid Girls" Video

Pink's new video "Stupid Girls" rips on empty-headed, blank-faced, stupidly sexual personalities like Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson.

Paris was asked for comment on Pink's parody of herself, and then dozed off halfway through the explanation of what a parody was. She then pissed on herself, flashed her cootch to a whole throng of paparazzi, and crashed a $300,000 car.

Walt Disney's Apartment

Ever been to Disneyworld and wondered about "Walt's Apartment" by the front gate, that creepy, untouched-since-his-death place preserved with the kind of reverence some reserve for the Pope? Now you can get a 360 degree tour online.

Okay, I'm torn here, because I want to point out the fact that Walt's "working late at the studio, honey!" apartment looks like something Belle Watling would roll around the organza with Rhett Butler in, but then, at the same time, I notice that the carpeting looks almost exactly like what is on all the common floors in my building. See what that points to? My building is decorated like an antebellum whorehouse.

Star Trek Fan Files For Bankruptcy, Bought Too Much Star Trek Stuff

Did you see Trekkies 2? Of course not, because you're not a dork. But I did! (Infer what you will there.) It featured an English man named Tony Alleyne, who wanted to convert his studio apartment into a replica of the Federation Starship Voyager.

The home has moulded walls, touch-panel blue lighting, a life-size model of the shows transporter room and a command console.

The former DJ also reshaped his windows to look like portholes and set up vertical lights so he can pretend to be beamed up, just like the shows characters Captain James T Kirk and Spock.

(Source: Sydney Morning Herald)

He seemed to be working through some divorce and emotional abandonment issues at the time. Also, he was creepy. And now he's claiming debts of almost $400,000, a small price to pay for living in a spaceship and not missing your wife ONE LITTLE BIT!

The Shining - a Romantic Comedy

The Shining trailer, recut and with new music to make it look like a heartwarming romantic comedy. Why don't more people do this kind of thing for fun? I think it's brilliant.

How To Keep Romance Alive

Make your Valentine’s Day STEAMY! Take your Valentine to White Castle on Tuesday, February 14 between 5 p.m. and 8 p.m and enjoy hostess seating, candlelit dining and your own server. Reservations are required, so check the list below for participating Castles near you!

(Source: White Castle.com)

Teri Hatcher's Grammy Dress

Teri Hatcher's Grammy dress was designed to detract attention, perhaps from what's above her neck. Does she look like she lost her soul or something? Something is not right there.

"I wanted to eat him, but I didn't want to kill him,"

Kind of a catch-22, there.

A German cannibal who killed a man who wanted to be eaten told a court Monday that he had only been carrying out his victim's wishes and had not expressly sought to kill him.

"I wanted to eat him, but I didn't want to kill him," Armin Meiwes, 44, told judges in three hours of testimony at his retrial.

(Source: Reuters/Yahoo)