Some Jokes Are Only Funny To Me

Is there something wrong with me if, every time I get off the bus near the Lawrence El stop, when the the announcement says "Lawrence and Broadway," in my head I say "Lawrence and Fishburn," and giggle a little to myself?

Moment of Adorable Zen

This is like a palate cleanser that frees you of stress. Flaps down, little kitty!

What's So Funny? Oh, Yeah, Comedy.

Things are great but I need a nap. I wish I could snap my fingers and magically move into my new place so I could start enjoying the company of my awesome new roommates, and a living space with more than one window. I urgently need Spring to arrive. Seems I'm not the only one. Brief update:

#1 My stand-up set from the Lincoln Lodge is on tv now. #2 I've been too busy to go on NBC and the radio but hope to in the next few weeks. #3 I'm having conversations with people from various comedy festivals, who think the Bastion is the neatest thing since sliced cell phones. #4 All the usual other stuff.

My BF Bryan was cast in a commercial for a candy bar. He'll be playing "angry roommate," which requires no use of language, only the ability to look mean and threatening. (If only they knew of his love for cooking shows and cute furry little animals.) He got booked for Belmont Burlesque, and will soon debut his new Don't Spit The Water character, Cool Pope, inspired by Battle Pope and Father Guido Sarducci. But when he's Cool Pope, who will be Timekeeper Willis (at left, with the lack of shirt)? Who else has that rare combination of analytical, poetic wit and head-crushing muscles?

The comedy writing workshop we're running on Saturdays is utterly awesome. (Pic at left of DSTW rehearsing in the space.) It's two hours of bagels, coffee, jokes, and laughing, followed by everyone bouncing out the door really excited because they have two or three new jokes that have been broken down and refined and are ready for the stage. Last Saturday Andrew DeWitt, a sketch vet, workshopped some jokes with our group, did them at his very first open mic at Schubas the next night, and killed. Prescott took the mic back and said "Oh my god, that was awesome!" Check out the clip (NSFW, because of potty language):

More Good PR For Chicago Comedy

Dan and I entertained a Chicago Tribune reporter and photographer last night at ChUC. The writer, Glenn Jeffers, is doing a story about the increasingly reputable stand-up scene in Chicago, the effect of breakout stars like some of the Blerds, the exodus cycle (we seem to be at the end of one right now), and so on. He also brought a photographer who, it turns out, went to high school with Dan. Glenn chatted with Jared Logan and Fay Canale at length after interviewing me and Dan and I saw him chatting with K-Rock, the walking human encyclopedia of Chicago comedy, on my way out the door. He seemed really interested in his subject matter, and we also pointed him in the direction of the Lincoln Lodge and the Edge Comedy shows, so I'm sure the article will be awesome.

Frances Bean For President

As a child of the early 1990's, it makes me very happy that Frances Bean Cobain (in the new Harper's Bazaar) seems so level-headed and smart and funny. And let's not even talk about the cuteness. Doesn't everyone my age remember when she was a baby? And didn't we all worry about her in the aftermath of all the drama?

"These people are fascinated by me, but I haven't done anything," Frances says. "I'm famous by default. I came out of the womb and people wanted to know who I was because of my parents. If you're a big Nirvana fan, a big Hole fan, then I understand why you would want to get to know me, but I'm not my parents. People need to wait until I've done something valid with my life."

Teaching Myself Animation, Ghetto-Style

Or should I just say DIY, and extra resourceful? Nellie and I did this last night in about ten minutes. I just wanted something clean and simple, colorful and cool-looking. I also like the bit of music, which I put together several weeks ago - it has that nice bit of upbeat cheer contrasted with weird jangly dissonance. I haven't settled on the final style or music, but I like what I've come up with so far.

(Edited to add newer, shorter version):

Puppy Love, Part Two

What are you doing today, on this bright and beautiful Presidents Day? Bryan has the day off, what with being a teacher and all, so after I get some work done we're going to a local animal shelter to look at dogs. He's puppy crazy these days, and he keeps sending me links to the ones he finds especially cute. Right now we have our favorites. I think the cutest one is this white and black pit bull girl, Belle, and he likes the black pit bull lab mix boy named Leo. There may not be a dog in either of our immediate futures but it sure is fun to think about.

Happy Birthday, Chicago Comedians!

Last night's birthday party for Bryan and Nellie was a smashing success. Sloan was kind enough to loan us her house and I tried to be a proper hostess, facilitating introductions and making the rounds with ghetto pizza - cheap Jewel pizza cut and served on top of the box it came in. Nellie's mom made a bajillion cupcakes - the kind baked into ice cream cones - and of course there was lots of beer. Basically it's just like producing a comedy show, except without an actual show.

It was an interesting combination of my friends, Bryan's friends, Nellie's friends, Sloan's friends, and her roommate Erik's friends. It looked like several romantic connections were made, or at least, there was making out, long involved conversations, and bumping and grinding on the dance floor - between people who had just met an hour or two before.

Nobody got sick or too crazy but, as hostess, I'll feel good knowing that at least a few people did things they're embarrassed about today. Me, I'm ashamed of my uncontrolled cupcake intake. It was nothing but flying fists and fudgy frosting, and I'm paying the price today.

Chicago Underground Comedy January 29, 2008

No, I'm not in the show, but I produced it. Featuring Team Submarine, Carrie Callahan, Dan Polydoris, Michael Palscak, Robert Buscemi, and Allison Leber. Filmed and edited by Sloan Taylor!

Variety Is the Spice of Good Writing

This week's writing assignments have me researching ancient Egyptian art and history, the New York stand-up comedy scene, bridal industry trends, a fancy garden party benefit for a charity that helps the developmentally disabled, and much more.

Sometimes I find myself wishing I had a 9-5 communications gig with a big company in the Loop (downtown Chicago is such a magical place), but then, I'm pretty sure I'd get bored writing the same stuff in the same style about the same people again and again.

I like making phone calls to people in a wide range of professions, across thousands of miles, and learning about what they do. I like being prompted to learn more about something that otherwise may not have bleeped on my radar.

Now I'm going to finish up some PR stuff and then sit down and write some greeting card ideas!

Woo hoo for variety!

Vote For Brandi! Or Brandi's Cat...

Vote for Brandi's Mewie to be the cat model for Bissell's new vacuum cleaner packaging. You can only vote once and you need to do it before Feb. 19, so go now and vote for Mewie! I did.

Why should you be moved to do something nice for Brandi? Because she teaches little kids music, and takes fantastic photos of them. And she writes songs that are so sweet they make me cry. And when she's feeling crabby, she makes hilarious bitchcakes.

bissell's having a contest to find a model for the packaging of their new pet hair vacuum, and i kind of want it to be my cat, mewie. if mewie wins the vote for this week, i win a free vacuum. if she's in the top five, she goes to the finals, where she'll be judged by, you know, some judges, and if she wins, she gets to have a photo shoot and be famous. and also they donate $10,000 to the pet charity of your choice, which is super exciting since both of my cats are rescues and i'm all about donating to the cause.

Happy Valentine's Day

To my blog readers, Happy Valentine's Day!

And especially to -- let's just call him "the nicest boy I know."

He makes me laugh and takes me seriously.

He brought me these flowers.

And a nine-pack of my favorite lip gloss.

And lots of other sweet things.

He makes me feel more like the person I really want to be.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Go eat something totally unnecessary and delicious.

More Media - Me on NBC!

The Chicago Magazine mention of Bella Rossa and the Bastion is kicking off other fun things. I've been asked to do some radio stuff and I'm going to be on NBC Chicago's morning program talking about Chicago comedy, and the Bastion, and maybe showing some video clips.

Being on television to shill for my hilarious friends? Awesome. Being downtown at NBC at 6:45 a.m.? A little worrisome. I'll have to make sure it's not a Wednesday morning, since Tuesday nights at ChUC can run a little late. And maybe I'll mainline some espresso on my way out the door in the morning. Oh, comedy, let me sleep. Just a little!

Short Comedy Film 1 of 12

Hop on over to the Bucket of Nerds blog for the first of our planned twelve short comedy films. We shot this yesterday in about 90 minutes and then I spent a few hours downloading the footage, editing it, and writing the music. (After a night out celebrating my boyfriend's birthday...and organizing a writing workshop for fellow comedy writers...followed by an evening with stand-up friends at Schubas...yes, I'm tired.)

It's called "Breakfast With Teresa," and it's 3.5 minutes with another 1 minute of bloopers. Teresa has her own in-house morning chat show but doesn't seem realize no one is watching, and isn't willing to be too flexible on the rules, even when Elizabeth is too scared to report live from the basement. Nellie suggests that they get around Teresa's iron fist by playing with time traveling text messages and sketch editing in the future. Guest appearance by Morgan Freeman. Sort of.

(Bonus points if you can catch the scene where a highlighted script is in plain sight. Ha!)

I am so thrilled that actors opened their mouths and my words came out. Nerdy words like "Would you please stop crapping on the boundary between magical realism and science fiction?" (Thank you, Teresa.)

I learned a lot. I already know things I'll do differently next time and I feel even surer now that I should be behind the camera more than in front of it, so maybe we'll experiment with inviting guest stars to play with us on our Sunday afternoon comedy jaunts.

Finding friends to play with shouldn't be tough - lots of people have put their name in the hat for future efforts, and my increasingly awesome boyfriend has organized a stand-up comics' weekly writing workshop (a feat in itself), and at our first gathering this weekend, there was more indication that roping more fun friends into this project won't be a challenge.

So go watch my first short comedy film! And please share opinions. We're putting it out there and we want to get better, so be honest (but gentle).

P.S. I'm not too proud a geek to admit that I hope people will notice that the music I wrote for the end of the clip is a remixed, sped up, Latin disco version of the opening clip.

Going With the Flow

I love that my work keeps the sudden and unexpected orbiting around me and popping into my inbox all the time. In the past few weeks I've heard things like this:

"Hey, want to write two pieces about flowers?"

"Hey, want to edit some video?"

"Hey, want to write a couple of things about casino gaming technology?"

"Hey, want to write greeting cards*?"

Yes. Yes, I do. Thank you!

*The ten year old girl who will always live inside me can't believe people get paid for this and is on the verge of a Jolt Cola, Twizzler, and Hallmark Store sticker binge at this very moment.

Happy Birthday, Bryan

Happy 30th, cupcake!

Trust me when I say life only gets better from here.

Did you know that 30 is the smallest sphenic number?

And the smallest of the form where r is a prime greater than 3. 30 has an aliquot sum of 42 and all sphenic numbers of this form have an aliquot sum 12 greater than themselves?

You probably did.

I had no idea.

Enjoy this random ridiculous birthday video, featuring your photos, found footage, and the song I made with our voices.

A Disturbing Pattern Involving Pickles

...because I can't follow up a sincere post without a silly one...

skronk my pickle, yo!

It's another pickle sandwich. I do this sometimes. I go off on a food tangent.

I predict I'll eat pickle and cream cheese sandwiches three times a day for another three days and then not touch one again until July.

Life List

Yes, Miss Science Nerd and Obsessive Fact Checker is going a little granola just for a minute. (Go ahead, Nellie, lemme have it.) I want to clarify my perspective and I did a few exercises that I thought might help me break things down. They did. A few realizations:

#1: I really do a lot of negative thinking and self-criticism.
#2: I can choose not to.
#3: When I spell out what I want to do with my life in concrete, clear terms, none of the things I want are outrageous or unattainable. Oh, and without planning it at all, I wrote exactly ten things. How tidy. Here they are:

I want to do good work I can be proud of.

I want to be self-sufficient, debt-free, and financially secure.

I want to live a life of peace and progress.

I want to be brave enough to fully engage with people and have more meaningful connections.

I want my talents and energy to benefit others as much as possible.

I want to forgive those who hurt me.

I want to trust people enough to let them see who I truly am.

I want the strength to be able to look others straight in the eye and be willing to see them for who they are.

I want to feel worthy of success, and confidently embrace new opportunities and experiences.

I want to be able to trust more, relax more, and be less of an obstacle to my own progress.

Snurfling...Snurf Snurf...Snurf

Hold still! I am snurfling your hair!

What's that scent?

Did you eat edamame and not share them with me?

Snurfle...snurfle...snurf.

Pickle Streak

...another one for lunch.

The Buckets Move In Together; Spring Will Arrive, Dangit

I would like to predict that our comedic productivity is going to shoot through the roof, say, Aprilish...because the Buckets are moving in together! (It worked for Lauren Lapkus and Candy Lawrence, after all.)

We found a beautiful place in the middle of the exact neighborhood we wanted to move into. It's two blocks from Sloan, and our landlords are these incredibly cute Chicago Irish Catholic grandparents, with their own kids living on the same street. Nellie is already looking forward to baking cookies for them and watering their plants when they're at their weekend home in the summer.

This place has three bedrooms, three large separate living areas, high ceilings, oak floors, huge multi-windowed sun room in the front, washer and dryer in the new pantry in the large eat-in kitchen, and a big sun porch/balcony off the kitchen.

It's within walking distance of the library, a grocery store, a major bus route, the CTA, my boyfriend's house, and the BEACH. It's February and I'm full-on winter crazy, so I'm going to repeat that last bit. I'm going to put it in red, actually, to emphasize the point to myself, because I really need to hear it: in Chicago's Springtime, the snow melts and the sun comes back out and green things grow and the air in the park by the lake smells like lilacs and puppy breath and possibility itself. Happy tomboys ride their bikes by the water, stopping every now and then to take a photo or lick a popsicle and enjoy a sigh of visceral happiness.

It's heaven, absolute heaven. And to think Teresa and I have been living in tiny isolating collegiate studio apartments near Loyola and Northwestern all this time, and paying MORE money. (I'll let Nellie address whatever grievances she may have with Rockford.) I have one window where I live right now. One.

I can't wait.

Winter Weekend Blahs

I wrote a new song, "Finnegan's Cake."

("Winter Is Fired," by Brandi Ediss, at left.)

Teresa and Nellie and I found a beautiful and spacious apartment we really liked -- cross your fingers.

I broke a nice sweat in the gym, twice. Still felt kinda low.

The Super Bowl came and went. Somebody won.

Bryan graded papers. We had pizza.

The snow fell...and fell some more.

A pattern appeared on Bryan's jeans cuff. I liked the cresting wave of the salt separating from the water in the fabric.

Anyone have a condo in Cancun they'd like to loan me?

Random Assemblages of the Elderly

Somehow lately I've been on hand for several examples of one of my favorite urban phenomena - the "sudden and unexpected flocking of the elderly to a previously quiet location."

Right now I'm in a bakery and restaurant in the Bryn Mawr area, waiting to meet Nellie and Teresa to look at an apartment, and it's been totally quiet for over an hour as I sit here sipping water and picking through the newspapers.

That is, until four minutes ago, when a line of elderly ladies materialized and slowly snaked its way in the store. I just read something about Improv Everywhere doing something silly and spontaneous at Grand Central Station in New York, and for a second I laughed, because this felt like something pranky.

Fifty old ladies in the door one after another? Was there a collective sugar cookie craving at St. Michael's Retirement Center up the street?

Oh, wait...they are all scooting toward the back of the store, and someone is speaking in an authoritative "theme park guide" voice about the wonders of bread-making. They're here for a tour. That makes more sense.