"SEX!": An Important Lesson in Tagging YouTube Videos

I'm editing and posting clips of last night's Chicago Underground Comedy show, and it seems that tagging the Money Kids' video with "Sex and the City" (one of their bits) makes it a viewer magnet. I posted the clip about 4 hours ago and it's up to over 3500 views.

I noticed that within minutes, the clip was getting hundreds and hundreds of views, and I thought maybe it had been chosen as a featured clip in the comedy section or something, but I guess it's just my new tactic of using tags to describe the content of the comedy that attracted all that attention.

Yes, Lauren Lapkus and Candy Lawrence are adorable and sexy as well as being hilarious, but, uh, it's a comedy clip, and you can't put actual sex clips on YouTube anyway. What the heck, internetizens?

Anyhoo, here's the highlight reel from last night's show, featuring Prescott Tolk, Sean Flannery, CJ Sullivan, Dan Polydoris, Money Kids, and James Vickery. It features NO SEX WHATSOEVER:

The House Has Been Officially Warmed

Our housewarming party was a big success. Many bottles were drained, many conversations sparked, many new acquaintances...acquainted.

We had some people come for the party, stay the night, and hang out with us until 6:00 p.m. the next day, for brunch, soccer, and a walk to the lake.

Cheese tray? Gone. Sweets tray? Obliterated. Landlords? Hopefully not too annoyed with us.

Back to work now.

Highlight Clip From Tuesday's Chicago Underground Comedy

Dan and I put together an audition showcase for the DC Comedy Fest, at the behest of festival producer and awesome chick Blaire Postman, and our show was Tuesday night. I assaulted our audience with extra candy (well, I mean, I didn't pelt them with it, I just distributed more than usual). Our audience's favorites: Nerds, Starburst, and Tootsie Pops.

Everyone was at the top of their game. Lots of nerves but lots of excitement, and lots of kick ass comedy from Adam Burke, Fay Canale, Brendan McGowan, Dan Telfer, Carrie Callahan, Chad Briggs, Steve O. Harvey, Team Submarine, Brady Novak, and Nick Vatterott. If you're a huge comedy nerd, you can watch each individual set on my YouTube account. Here's the highlight clip:




I talked a lot with Blaire, who's the festival's executive producer and also the manager for Kumail, Jared Logan, and lots of other comedians I admire and/or adore. "Is there anything you don't do in Chicago comedy?" she asked me. "I don't make any money," I laughed. She seems to have a genuine fondness and appreciation for the up and coming comedians and loves to spot the talented ones early. We chatted a lot about What's So Great About Chicago Stand-Up, a topic I have so much enthusiasm for that the conversation that could have extended well into the night.

Side note: I have an introverted nerd's fierce love for editing and I especially love taking the time to pick through the footage, grab the right jokes, and make tiny but important editing choices (smoothing out the sound in transitions, and so on) to make my comedians look their very best, but I am officially sick of my own music now. Damn that jangly banjo. I'm writing a new bit of bumper music right now just so I can hear something different next time around.

Now I have to finish writing a profile of an ob/gyn in Nebraska. Gotta pay the bills, ya know.

Editing Frenzy

Teresa Lemaire Masters Flute Recital Northwestern University

I could not edit the clip because, for some reason, the clip lost its sound when I imported it to iMovie, so there are no titles or anything, but you can hear Teresa's magic flute. This is from Teresa's Masters flute recital at Northwestern Sunday night. What a talented nerd! We are very proud of her.



Nellie did her hair, and all three of us plus Bryan were hanging around while she was doing one last practice on Sunday afternoon. My greatest contribution was taking pictures and helping to eat up all the fruit, cheese, and veggie tray leftovers. I do what I can.

Flute-ccomplishments, Comedy Splices

Last night was Teresa's Masters flute recital at Northwestern. I took tons of pictures. We have giant heaps of cheese and fruit and veggies on fancy trays in the fridge leftover from the party. Her mom and aunt and other family came and met us in the house. Nellie and I went to the recital and Teresa's music was just magical.

Tomorrow night is a big ChUC show and I'm beat. Going to sleep now. Here's the just-finished video clip from last week's show.



Show produced by me and Dan Telfer. Video, music, and editing by me. Featuring Dan Telfer, Bryan Bowden, Mike Stanley, Andy Ross, Robert Buscemi, and Prescott Tolk.

RIP, HTTP, etc.

A startling realization, as of this morning: we will all be survived by our blogs and Facebooks. I may leave no mark on the world at large but random comments on friends' blogs and stupid videos I've posted on YouTube will outlive me, and speak for me.

Ancestors will be able to reconstruct my life and gain insight into my character by poring over years of stupid blog entries. Their conclusions? Hopefully charitable. In the meantime, I'll write about everything that tickles my funny bone and triggers my cute detector. To wit, two short and darling vids:

Super mega cute baby learns language to better ask for treats:



Kitten sneezes, than does adorable pitiful newborn kitten mew:



HAPPY FRIDAY!

"Honey, Your Coffee's Undrinkable!"

This old commercial is hilarious and infuriating at the same time.

I watch it and I think, "Thank god I'm a modern woman. Thank god for birth control, education, and my ability to be independent, make my own choices, and be with a man because I respect him, admire him, and feel affection for him, and not because I'm financially dependent on him."

Also, Folger's Instant has tasted like crap for almost 40 years. Up yours, Harvey.

The Wily and Elusive Urban Blogger

The weekend was busy. In between working, there was: A going-away party. Darts and tamales at Ricochet. Writing workshop. Editing and e-mailing audio files to workshop folks. Teresa and Nellie time. Gym time. A birthday party at Calo's. Stage two of that party at Joie de Vine. Blewtenanny at the Playground Theater. A girly clothing swap brunch at my house. A walk with Nellie to Brown Elephant where I nabbed some $8 jeans. Soccer with Nellie. The always dreaded sending of Nellie back to Rockford.

I may not blog much this week. Try to hold yourselves together somehow.

For now, I just posted a bit (and video) about Whirlyball on Chicago MetBlog. Woo.

Look Out, She's Getting Bigger!

Nutella Nonviolent Telfer, I mean Novella Violet Telfer, is growing at an astonishing rate!

Dan blogged:

Took the baby to the pediatrician today. She gained weight, which is good. Better still, she'd gone from 21 to 24 inches. This puts her in the upper 90th percentile for length in newborn 1 week old or younger. So she's a larval Amazon, basically.

Three inches in a week! She is amazing. She's become the unofficial mascot of Chicago comedy. Do you think she knows that so many people are excited about her and talking about her?

Here is an incredibly touching and transcendent post about Novella written by the wonderful Carrie Callahan. Actually, it's so nice, I'm going to post most of it here for your enjoyment, with my favorite parts in bold:

Novella, you decided to join the party at a weird time. We've got some people here that are out of control with violence and greediness. They weren't loved right when they were little. The weather has gotten way more intense because those people have created a world where everything runs on gasoline and coal, and we let them do that because we didn't understand how bad that really was. We've been letting those people run the show for awhile now, hoping to placate them, but that's probably going to end pretty soon. You don't need to worry about it, us guests who have been here for awhile are figuring out how to handle them.

HOWEVER, even though the party has gotten weird, it's still a party! Your hosts, Dan and Vicky, are very kind and smart people, and you are going to have a ton of fun with them. They're going to introduce you to lots of cool people, animals, ideas, stuff to do with your new body (bowling! dancing! softball! punching and kicking! swimming! cuddling! you wouldn't believe all the stuff we've thought up), food, books, pictures, the list goes on and on.

Everyone's been invited to the party for a reason, but the deal is you have to discover your reason, no one can tell you (because we're all as clueless as you are). So take in everything you can, and observe how you feel while you're trying everything out. You have a sensor inside that'll give you a signal when you're getting close to figuring out your reason for getting invited. It's called a 'calling', or a 'vocation', or your 'dharma.' It's a physical sensation, you'll feel all of sudden like you know exactly what to do and that you're in harmony with a larger process. It's cool and a little freaky.

So since we're all trying to find our reasons for the invites, the way to relate to other party guests is to love them. That means when you look at them you try to see all the potential people they could become, and also all of the people they have been. It can be tough to do. Your hosts are your best examples for how to do this, because they effortlessly see all your potential and remember everyone you have been. Now, your hosts will make a lot of mistakes, and as you grow up you'll sort all of that out and figure out where you can do better, but their example is a valuable gift. When you love someone you make it easier for them to discover their reason for the invite, because you're relating to who they really, truthfully are. Oh, and you absolutely have to love yourself. That's actually the most important thing to do, I should've put that first. Being down on yourself is never ever the right thing to do, you're not viewing yourself honestly, and why waste your time?

We're so excited you came! The party needs someone like you to really get bumpin'.

"Jared Logan Unlimited"

I am a very proud producer. Tuesday's Chicago Underground Comedy show was so good I can't even describe it. "Jared Logan Unlimited" packed the house with a bigger and more enthusiastic crowd than we've ever had, and all our comedians rocked.

I've been editing like mad. Clips from the show, should you want to watch: Carrie Callahan (host), and features Chad Briggs and Adam Burke.

And the must-watch clip, the superstar himself, soon taking off for New York to find his well-deserved success and glory, the electric and brilliant Jared Logan. Watch even three minutes of this clip and tell me you don't think he's going to be famous in about two years. Yay Jared!

Do Not Want

Dear Google,

You are awesome. You and I have been pals since way back in college, when I did a PR internship at my internet service provider. I knew you even before the days when you started providing Yahoo with all its search engine functions.

And I think it's so cool that you're always diversifying the range of services you offer, like Google Reader and Google Maps, and I will say right now that I love Google Docs almost more than my Mac itself.

However, please stop sending me e-mails like the one in the picture I took of my BlackBerry. I try to remain open to new experiences, and I'm not judgmental about you or your lifestyle choices, but I'm just not up for trying Google Anal, and certainly not at 9:50 on a Wednesday night.

Love,
Elizabeth

P.S. I think it's a little disingenuous of you to tout anal as a "new option." I'm pretty sure the Greeks were doing it a loooooong time before you came along.

Bryan in a Butterfinger Commercial

He shot a few of these several weeks back. This one features him and ChUC cast member Dan Polydoris, whose physical skills are really funny. Bryan did another one where he came home and found his roommate making out with his sister, and his rage was only appeased by -- you guessed it -- a Butterfinger.

Snatch Batch Is Born (in 1994)

(Totally NSFW, due to language and whatnot.)

First, our comedian friends Carrie Callahan and Cameron Esposito have started a fake riot grrl band called C*nt Gun. Here's their first video:



Then, last night, Nellie and Teresa and I (Buckets of Nerds/roommates) got silly and decided to insert ourselves into their narrative, and create our own fake riot grrl band, Snatch Batch:



Luckily, they found our unbidden offering as flattering as we'd hoped, and apparently, we have some big ridiculous girl comedy plans unfolding now. At the moment, actually, C*unt Gun is rehearsing in my living room. Nellie is feeding them and I'm filming them for an upcoming video. Enjoy! But turn the speakers down...we use lots of inappropriate, unladylike language.

Happy Baby Friday!

My Chicago Underground Comedy co-producer Dan Telfer and his lovely wife Victoria have blessed the world with their long-awaited baby girl. She made her grand entrance yesterday and is heretofore to be known as Novella Violet Telfer, also known as the cutest baby that ever was.

She is expected to make her stand up open mic debut sometime in the year 2026, when she'll reach the age of majority, and I will gladly hand the reins of ChUC production over to her and Isabella Gadlin around that time, as well.

Good "Norning" - Assorted Comments and Such

Teresa and I are having coffee in the kitchen with the balcony door open. The sounds of seagulls and church bells are filtering in, along with some beautiful fresh air and the actual feeling of sunshine on our skin. I feel a little giddy.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people, when I'm spelling my last name to them over the phone, ask, "Did you say 'N?' 'NcQuern?'" Yeah, my last name is NcQuern. In defiance of linguistics and all surname conventions, I changed the M to an N just to make myself seem more interesting. Now let's go to NcDonald's and have some NcNuggets. And don't forget to invite Nelissa and Nichael, naybe they'd like a snack, too.

Teresa had a musician friend visit us, and he showed us this video. This little boy really wants to meet Paul McCartney, and in the meantime, he's killing me with his adorableness:

Blewtenanny Highlight Reel

Are we tired of my stand up showcase clips yet? I'm just obsessed with editing. Somebody stop me! Here's another one, the highlight reel from the first Blewtenanny, featuring Bryan Bowden, Neil Arsenty, Fuzzy Gerdes, Mike Wiley, and Ken Barnard.