March 4, 2006

The Maury Show - The "Woo Hoo, I Ain't the Daddy" Dance

Set to music this time, for extra pep and pop. This is, after all, the main appeal of the Maury show.

An unfortunate young woman gets all up in the camera, with the "Maury, I am 5000% sure he is the father of this baby!"

An unfortunate young man decries the girl's slatternly nature, and points to the large video screen, indicating which of the baby's features are so substantially different from his so as to clearly disqualify him from the list of potential fathers.

There is screaming, and finger pointing, and then the test results.

The man is:

A) the father, and hangs his head in reflection/shame/child support payment calculations, receives warm applause from the audience when he vows to "be there" for the child, and/or endure some righteous finger-pointing and screams of "I told you so" and "Now what?! Now what?!" from the vindicated mother, or

B) proven innocent of the alleged conception, and, as the mother runs backstage to wail and gnash a few more teeth, he does the joyful dance of DNA exoneration.

In this case, it's dance, dance, DANCE!

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