March 23, 2005
Taken Aback By Office Supplies
While packing for my upcoming move, I'm glad to have a chance to sift through my accumulated material goods, and filter out the unneeded stuff.
One thing that surprised me was realizing that, in several places throughout my modest apartment, there were considerable stockpiles of paperclips, rubber bands, staples, and thumbtacks. Four or five boxes of each. My work requires very little office materials, if any, and I can't remember the last time I thumbtacked anything onto anything.
The evidence suggests that many times over the last few years I have found myself at an office supply store, presumably buying legitimately needed things, and was suddenly struck by a panic - do I have enough staples? What about those bendy paperclips? Do I have any giant gold paperclips? Look at all the different kinds of thumbtacks they have here! Big pink ones, small clear ones, some with longer prongs. I don't want to get home and realize I'm almost out of any of these crucial connective items. They hold the world together!
Note to self: It's a new era in communications. Look into this whole "paperless office" thing. The trees will appreciate it, and eight million paperclips will be spared their cruel fate. Might as well stock up on papyrus and tortoise shells, for pity's sake.