April 9, 2005

$113 Million "Dickensworld" Theme Park to Open

"We have great expectations," said backer Kevin Christie.

Oh, no kidding? Ha ha. What a delightful, and totally predictable, thing to say.

Is there a more preposterous business proposal than a park themed around the author of novels that revealed the horrible lives of exploited child laborers in a particularly crummy chapter of Western history?

I would seriously love to see the mock-ups of proposed rides and attractions at this place.

Will the "Please, Sir, May I Have Some More" concession stand serve cold gruel next to the "Victorian Children's 80-Hour Work Week Tilt-A-Whirl?" And will kiddies by the thousands enjoy games like the "Maybe The Textile Machines Will Rip Your Scalp Off/Maybe You'll Win a Stuffed Bear" Beanbag Toss?

And instead of Mickey Mouse ears, will patrons scuttle around the park wearing clip-on poverty rags and facepainted soot smudges? Stellar.

No comments: