Dick Cheney's Diva Demands Rival Lopez'

The Smoking Gun has gotten ahold of a copy Dick Cheney's tour rider. Yup. he's a diva. He doesn't demand white lilies floating in the toilet for crapping purposes (hi, Jennifer Lopez), or a toilet with a brand-new seat (hi, Mary J. Blige), but he's still pretty picky.

Exact temperature, TV tuned to just the right channel (FoxNews, natch), diet caffeine free Sprite (which is redundant - all Sprite is caffeine free).

Although, if I were him, I'd be trying to get away with a whole lot more. He's the #2 elected official of the most powerful nation on the planet. As, as many people think, he's the *real* president. He could be demanding underage Filipino boys and giant tubs of pistachio pudding and no one would bat an eyelash. Mmmm....pistachio pudding.

I watched the Daily Show last night at the gym, and they stole my joke right out from under me. I was on the treadmill like an urban rat, thinking about writing, as usual, running through possible comments to make on recent items I'd bookmarked to go back and write about.

I was going to blog about this, and say "and the most peculiar items, perhaps comparable to the Playstations and DVD players that some celebrities demand backstage and in hotel suites, were 'an old dude, a duck-hunting rifle."'"

But then...the Daily Show delivered the exact same joke, almost word for word. Dang you, Jon Stewart and your passel of comedy writers! I'm just one girl! One girl, with a blog, asking you to read her.