Matt Besser Will Trick You!

Matt Besser, of the Upright Citizen's Brigade (founded in Chicago by students of Del Close, formerly a guru at Second City), used to get wrongly-dialed phone calls for a computer tech center - at his home - all the time. And take them. And screw with people very very badly. He turned it into a one-man show called "May I Help You, Dumbass?"

(via MattBesser.com)

Besser: All right, do you have a pencil to write this down?

Caller: Um, yes.

Besser: [Heavy sigh] Your first number's called your main number.

Caller: Oh ... right.

Besser: All right? Your second number is called your F.C. number, favorite color number, OK?

Caller: [Obviously writing this down] Fa-vor-ite co-lor. OK. And the third?

Besser: That's called your cock-ring number.

Caller: Oh. How do you spell that?

Besser: C-o-c-k.

Caller: C-o-c-k.

Besser: R-i-n-g.

Caller: R-i-n-g. OK.

Besser: That's your cock-ring number.

Caller: OK, so these are all local calls?