November 28, 2006

Colonial Pistachio Bookshelves on Toast, With Love

Subject line in today's best spam e-mail : "colonial feeling." What can that possibly mean? Is it supposed to make me feel sexy? Rich? Powerful?

Breakfast. Pistachio Mystic cookie. Mm. On a related note, a person can only eat so many Everything bagels in bed and still feign surprised indignation when they wake up with poppy seeds and sesame seeds stuck to their face and hair the next morning.

Considering how much time I spend thinking about words and language, there sure is a frequency of jumbly nonsense falling out of my mouth, like a fistful of pots and pans clattering down the stairs. My most recent crime against logic: "Books on toast." Although, it turns out, some event at a writer's festival shared the same name, so maybe I'm not entirely nuts.

Via MSNBC: "A woman's body was found wedged upside-down behind a bookcase in (her) home...family members said they believe she fell over as she tried to adjust the plug of a television behind the bookshelf...her family thought she had been kidnapped and contacted authorities. Family members scoured her room for clues but found nothing, though they did notice a strange smell."

A guy on the online dating service I'm trying out sent me an e-mail, and immediately made his profile invisible, presumably because he'd made a match elsewhere. But his e-mail was so personalized and charming! Not at all an obviously generic cut-and-paste that he'd sent to every woman in Chicago between the ages of 18 and 40! Look at the details! Clearly he knows me. He truly knows me, Bella, the whole person, and - dare I say it? - LOVES ME. From the e-mail:

"Hi!
I came across your profile and you seem nice. I liked almost everything you wrote andsooo.... here I am! Someone special..."

5 comments:

Kristy said...

Fun IS the route to take. You clearly aren't ready to find love (or even a hand to hold, for that matter).

Speaking of fun, come to ChUC tonight.

Coaster Punchman said...

Yes, he DEFINITELY loves you. I mean, who wouldn't?

Chancelucky said...

What are the odds that he also likes walks on the beach and enjoys candlelit dinners?

Miz M said...

Oh, you are too harsh! I think he sounds like a [really nice person].

L'Zard said...

I pity the fool that messes with Bella... (oops, is that my antiquity showing?)