#1. My new dentist and his receptionist/assistant are really nice. My dentist told me that I have "tiny" teeth. He also has a really cool fake swimming fishies thing up against the window in his office, which are pleasantly mesmerizing. They also have a little lollipop tree, but even after 18 mouth x-rays, didn't offer me one, which makes me pout. I am immature.#2. Now that Becky and Fay are moving, I'm the shortest person in Chicago comedy, except for that 12 year old Dave Odd put up a few weeks ago. (I'm assuming. He might be a tall 12 year old.)
#3. I was looking at Blewt! footage of Impress These Apes shows, and I realized that in the beginning of Brady Novak's "Fattest Man in the World," you can see me in a Cubs hat running in front of the camera after a potty break. This was before I learned how to run backstage at iO when I need to use the can. (Thanks to TimeOut Chicago comedy editor Steve Heisler for that tip.)#4. When I'm transcribing interviews for work, and I'm playing back at half-speed, I sound drunk and stupid, and my interviewees sound condescending and annoyed.
#5. I have these things on the valves on my bike tires called Tireflys. They blink and flicker as you ride to let CTA buses know you're there, so they don't kill and splatten you. (Shut up, spellcheck, I know splatten isn't a word, but I like it.) It actually says on the package "Not legal for street use in some states," like I've pimped up a Camaro with illegal red lights or something. It also says "Never look directly at Tireflys," which is ridiculous and impossible. Every night when I get home from an after dark ride, I have little patterns of blinking blue stuff in my field of vision for several hours. I'm probably going blind, one little Tirefly-enhanced bike ride at a time.
12 comments:
Tireflies!?! What are these things of which you speak!?!? I require some, EL PRONTO.
That's a hilarious screen cap. :)
My spelling was off they are called Tireflys - http://www.tireflys.com/
Someone gave them to me, but I suppose you could pick them up at a bike store.
My headlight went out and I only have a couple of clicky-blinky things so In need to hit the bike store myself one of these days.
I don't know how much they are, but linguists use tape recorders that let you slow down the speed without affecting the pitch.
What kind of dentist gives patients lollipops? I thought they were bad for your teeth.
Those tape recorders are probably a little outside my budget right now, but thanks for the suggestion.
They were sugar free lollipops, and yea, they were probably weird and unyummy tasting, but they could have offered. I do have tiny baby teeth, after all, that almost makes me a kid.
I have yet to master the art of transcribing. I do have a nifty little Sony recorder that mostly lives on my coffee table.
When I started writing I really wanted writer-y stuff. I've settled on a Moleskine reporters notebook and a ball point pen.
Oh, I was in Z'ville Friday night -- dinner at Cobblestone and coffee at Plum's Upper Room. Lovely evening.
oh, and fay's not moving! yet anyway! god, what would i do!?!?!?!
Wooooo! Am I still tall, then? Heh.
She gave me the nicest pep talk tonight at ChUC, so I'm glad she's sticking around for awhile.
Oops, I'm responding out of order. That last one was for K-Rock. This one is for Nora: I know, I keep feeling like there's this upper echelon of writers who have access to all these things out of my reach, but that's rather ridiculous. A lot of my stuff is very cobbled together out of whatever materials and resources happen to be nearby. What matters is the spirit and intention behind it.
And Plum's rocks! I had lunch there last time I was home. A nice cheese sandwich of some kind. Mmm.
I think "splatten" is a fine word: more final and complete than splattering, wetter and more violent than flattening. Cool!
I gotta get some of those Tireflys for my eldest, she rides with a bike club that almost always rides at night. Thanks
I'm glad you agree, Bubs, maybe you and I can teach that chick Merriam Webster a thing or two.
And Tireflys are cool, but are no match for headlights, taillights, and clip on blinkies, all of which I need more of right now. Hope your daughter has a whole basketful of them, too!
Have you seen Blewt's Don't Spit the Water show.
Indeed, Jerrell, I have, not the new Carolina version, but the original version here in Chicago. My friend and Underground co-producer Dan and pals are the Blewt! team, and they're awesome.
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