October 5, 2007

I Don't Go to Sleep to Dream

My dreams are weirding me out lately. I've been having a lot more premonition dreams -- dreams that contain details of things that end up happening within the next few days. I've had them all my life. I've dreamt of the unexpected deaths of famous people, unforeseen natural disasters, entire sentences from Presidential press conferences, unplanned visits from long-lost friends, conversation snippets, big and little things -- you name it. I think of it as a loop. The initiation of the loop is the dream, and the closing of the loop is that detail manifesting in the waking world.

I've had premonition dreams since I was a little girl. They happen more when I'm stressed/excited and taking on new challenges. The last time I had an overwhelming amount of them, I was 13. I tried keeping a written record but it was more than I could keep up with. I kept trying to talk to people about them, trying to understand why they were happening, but people were freaked out, and the experience was overwhelming, so I shut them out.

But lately, as I've begun opening myself up for more interaction with others, and giving myself more freedom from within to do things like perform comedy, they've begun coming back, and I'm trying to incorporate them peacefully into my existence. I've had about ten in the last week. Little, cute, amusing details. Maybe warm-ups for bigger, more meaningful ones to come? I was trying not to think about them -- I have so much on my mind right now -- but then last night, a loop connected from a dream I had Tuesday night, in a very frightening way.

After the great ChUC show Tuesday, I came home, exhausted but exhilarated, and dreamt of a threatening male figure emerging from the darkness. The emotional component of this dream was in the context of the show, and me putting myself out into the world in a way I never have before. I'm excited about everything that I'm doing, but it makes me feel very vulnerable sometimes, too. The man in the dream was bedraggled and bearded, in a red plaid shirt and a dirty ballcap, and I knew to be afraid of him. I was trying to avoid him but whichever way I turned, he was in my path, like a glitch in a video game. Suddenly, we were face to face. He spoke to me in a voice that had crackly static and mic feedback in it. "I'm Dan Allison, and I've been thinking about how I'd like to hurt you." I woke up with a pounding heart, and it took me awhile to get back to sleep.

Then -- back to reality -- last night I was riding my bike in the darkness, home from my office, much later than I would have liked. The light was out on my bike, and I'd forgotten my helmet, and I was a little edgy. On an unlit block, I had a creeping sensation up the back of my neck. There was no one around. I dodged some construction machinery by hopping up on the sidewalk. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, a lone man was walking in my direction, out of the darkness. I slammed to a stop when I realized the sidewalk was blocked with construction materials. The man got just close enough for me to make out some details: he was bearded and wearing a red plaid shirt, with a stitched name tag: "Dan." He was wearing a dirty ballcap with a corporate logo patch: "Allison." I rode like hell all the way home.

Yes, I dreamt at least six specific details about a threatening person, and then I saw a person with those six characteristics the next day. I even got two names right, pulled from the ether of my mind and this mysterious universe we find ourselves knocking about in.

What exactly was the point of that, universe? Come on, I'm not hard to scare. Is this a girl thing? A hormonal thing? A crazy sensitive introvert thing? A cosmic thing? If it's some sort of tool or window, I'd like to understand and be able to use it. And I'd like to sleep a bit more peacefully. PM me with some details, Lords of the Cosmos, please.

13 comments:

Grant Miller said...

You should stop sleeping. You know how horror movies work the one who falls asleep always gets it.

Bella Rossa said...

Or I could turn into the main character of "Lathe of Heaven," and take crazy drugs to stay awake or at least suppress my dreams.

K-Rock said...

that is totally crazy!!! glad to hear you're okay; tell me if you have dreams about me! nuts!

Bubs said...

Oh man. That's wild.

Seriously. Maybe the point of that dream was to give you just enough of a heads-up, unconsciously, to avoid harm when the real situation occurred. Who knows...

sage said...

Seeing that painting by Henri Rousseau at the beginning of the post made me dream, for a moment, of being back in a 1870-1914 European History class...

Bella Rossa said...

Welcome to my crazy head, K-Rock. The most recent dream about you is one I hope *does* come true - the one about California. I predict great things for us out there. :)

Bella Rossa said...

I know Bubs, weird, huh? I'm telling you, there's are some unexplainable things that happen all around us, and sometimes we can tap into stuff that seems beyond us. When that dude walked toward me and I saw those two names on his clothing, I almost crapped myself.

Bella Rossa said...

Sage - I thought you were going to say the Rousseau painting reminded you of being back in 1870-1914, since your blog lists you as being 250 years old. :)

MrBaliHai said...

Hmm, maybe you could have some fun with this by becoming the Amazing Criswell of stand-up comedy, and lobbing ridiculous predictions at your audience?

On another note, being the anti-supernaturalist kind of guy that I am, I've always wondered if we'll someday find a scientific explanation for these sorts of premonitions. I believe that they're real, but I don't believe that they come from God or the Devil, or some other spiritual being. I think they're a natural phenomenon. Perhaps a manifestation of some aspect of quantum physics.

Timothy Carter said...

Scary as that must have been, it's a little event that demonstrates how amazing and strange the universe really is.

And if it was a warning, I'm glad you got home okay.

Bella Rossa said...

I'm with you, Mr. Bali Hai, on wanting a scientific explanation for this sort of thing. It's not just "weird" or "evil" or a "spriritual gift" or whatever, it's something real and quantifiable, and I want to understand it.

Not to offer TMI, but it also ebbs and flows with my cycle, so there is some sort of hormonal component to it. Maybe I'm full of quarks and charms at that time of the month, and they open me up to information otherwise unavailable to me. Who knows.

And Timothy, yes, this is yet another reminder that the universe and our partaking of it is a complex thing of mysteries we are just beginning to scratch the surface of. (And yeah, I'm glad I got home okay, too. As unsettling as the whole experience was, I did feel sort of protected by the situation, somehow.)

Jerell said...

Use your dream power for good not evil.

Bella Rossa said...

I will do my best, Sensei Jerell.