June 5, 2005
CTA: Phone Calls and Conversations I've Overheard Recently
The etiquette for talking on the train must be fairly flexible, because sometimes I ride trains that are totally quiet but for the scrape and squeal of the car on the tracks, and sometimes I ride trains with nonstop yammering chatterboxes who won't shut up for six seconds at a time.
To follow up on a conversation I overheard between a chubby Jewish guy in his mid-twenties with someone on a cell phone: "Giselle doesn't have a Jewish name because her Mom is French or something? Is that true? OMG! And Christina is still in her drunk-all-the-time phase? Really? NFW! And that party you went to, that you didn't really want to go to but did because your sister and her boyfriend were friends with the host, and it turned out the cocktails were watered down but at least they were free...SNNZZZZZ."
To touch base with the spirit of a conversation I heard between Vacant Blonde Girl and her Abercrombie boyfriend, who seemed annoyed that I wouldn't pay him the eyeball attention he needed, "Omigod, you put the deposit down on an apartment and you don't even have a job yet? And you haven't even told the family you babysit for that you're quitting them and moving into the city? I must hear more! Your parents are pissed that you keep racking up their credit cards, but you know Mom will overrule Dad and everything will be okay even though you spent most of last month's purchases on Prada instead of neccessities? Do blather on. And please keep flipping your ponytail in a wide sweeping circle, in the most attention-getting way possible. And please keep making furtive shifty glances to all the men in the car to make sure they're looking at you, and then whispering NONE TOO QUIETLY to your boyfriend that you're being checked out. And, above all else, keep doing that head-tilting, sing-song 'Are you suuuure? Are you suuuure?' cutesy-poo move when you want to draw out every boob-mesmerizing moment of power you have over this poor boy."
True, sometimes when people are blabbering I can read and block them out, or otherwise distract myself, but when I can't, every single word sticks in my memory forever and I find myself casting back to certain phrases and situations again and again. It's annoying. Maybe someday all of this data will come in handy for something, but for now it's neural clutter. And yes, I might be bitter that I don't have an iPod.