September 21, 2006

Random Stories and Observations

Earlier I wrote a blog post about a Swedish sex shop exploding. Recently, a Swedish newscast was interrupted with an unexpected clip, over the shoulder of the news anchor, of some explicit you-know-what. That's so much more embarrassing than the weather blue screen malfunctioning, isn't it? Oh, those sexy Swedes.Why can't old dogs learn new tricks? It's not stubbornness. It's a protein.

Why are porn spams always so clumsily worded? One I got the other day featured this subject line: "Have all delights using this wonderful product!" Not just one or two delights, ALL of them. Do people who buy and use these sex-enhancing products end up yelling equally weird things at the peak of their fun? "Meet young willing grils noww!" "Hot pron whenever you want!" "Don't be sexually shy with this herb!"

Something I've noticed again and again lately as I attend more comedy shows: bartenders don't give much of a crap about people who prefer to drink diet pop or water when everyone else is drinking beer after beer.

Sometimes, they'll ignore you entirely, probably assuming that you're a cheap-ass who won't bother to tip them on a plastic cup of water, but, in my case, they're wrong. Here's a dollar. Gimme some water.

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