Everyone living today came from the exact same set of ancestors, who lived not so long ago.
Similarly, we're all descended from royalty.
Dude, these stoned dudes pulled up to a KFC drive-thru
smoking a blunt, and there were, like, these two cops inside, who
smelled the weed, and saw the fattie, and, like, totally busted the
dudes. It was awesome. Hey, do you have any Fritos?
German postal worker, overwhelmed by work load, stashed over 2000 pieces of mail in her home.
Bank robber passes holdup note with his address on the back.
M&M factory in Chicago shut down because of rodent poo alert. Yum.