Funny Things I've Overheard Recently

"He's not gay, he's just really nice."

"Did you just throw a stick at me, or did you fart?"

"Well, you're both from communist countries, you should have lots to talk about."

"Please don't name the goat, we're going to eat it tomorrow."

"What are those?" "Those are crazy beans. They're like my usual beans but they're...crazy."

"Just so you know, we're the only church in Indiana." (Okay, this one was a typo, not literally overheard.)

"Shit, this atlas is from 2005!" "Oh, well, then, we're screwed. Indiana doesn't even exist anymore!"

"Why don't you go back to Indiana, where all the other jackasses are?" (Said by a guy from Illinois who was acting like a total baboon, driving around at a gas station with the sole purpose of yelling, all puff-chested and jerklike at a fellow motorist.)