March 26, 2007


Sloan and I have returned from a fun, relaxing, uber-cheap and productive few days in Boca Raton, Florida. There were many beach jogs, a bit of splashing around in the pool, countless squee-inducing lizard sightings, and the shooting of two new short comedy films, which should be online and available for your viewing pleasure quite soon.

We got by without a rental car, earning us many suspicious glances from the locals, who, occasionally, honked helpfully at us as we crossed busy intersections - with the light - as if to say, "Hey, out of towners, not only do we not want to walk anywhere we could drive our $75,000 Mercedes, we don't want you walking, either, even with the 'walk' signal."

We cheerfully replied with a combination flipping of the bird reinforced with direct and unflinching eye contact (Sloan) and an annoyed exaggerated pointing at the 'walk' sign (me). We considered these to be successful and complete communications.

Also, for your own reference, when traveling by air, remember this bit of wisdom:

Figure One: A danger to national security. Seriously, I was pulled aside at the Ft. Lauderdale airport and scolded for keeping this rogue substance in its original container, and not surrounded by a supersafe extra layer of immeasurably thin plastic.

Figure Two: An acceptable carry-on item. Once slipped inside (but not sealed into) a baggie, my favorite hand cream was deemed acceptable personal cargo.

Conclusion: Ziploc bags are magical items, capable of neutralizing the most vicious enemy. Shall we, upon capturing Bin Laden, seal him, too, in a human-sized Ziploc bag? Actually, wait, if sealing something in a big baggie is all it takes to render it protected, why don't we put the whole airplane inside a giant baggie? Or all of the continental United States? (That's right, "continental." The freak states are on their own.)


Collin said...

Welcome back! Glad you guys had a good vacation. Doubly glad I don't have to fly anywhere in the foreseeable future.

And tonight's the big night. The night when I may, or may not, do stand up. Still on the fence. Stressing. Ugh.

Bella Rossa said...

Hey! Good luck! You're about two weeks ahead of me. I'm sending you lots of good juju and stuff. Come on...stick it out. You'll be glad you did.

Ranger said...

Two weeks?! I'm ready to burn...

Chancelucky said...

glad you and Sloan had a good time. fwiw, I think cars like honking at attractive young females. For instance, they don't honk at me unless I really am about to be run over.

yes, the 3 oz. thing is truly weird stuff. The water bottle is even stranger. Just tell the would be water terrorist to take a couple sips or if they're with kids to give it to their kids....anything that explosive would likely make them throw up almost immediately.

Anyway, I'm off to start my new busines, a Ziploc bags concession in the airport.

Bella Rossa said...

Chance - ha! I suppose that happens sometimes too, but these offenders were of the elderly, married, and annoyed variety. Which may make us bad people for flipping them off, but whatever.

Let me know when your business is up and running, because I'd like to stop at your kiosk before I hit Hudson news for my pre-flight Raisinettes.

Collin said...

Old people need a bird or two flipped their way now and again. It gets them all rilled and stirs up the blood. Helps them live longer. Save an elderly person: flip 'em a bird.

Personally I found doing stand up to be terrifying. I want to do it again though. And keep doing it until it's either not terrifying or it kills me.

So when is your big day? I'm betting you'll do great. Will we be able to see it?

Bella Rossa said...

Hey, Collin, I've been wondering how it went for you. Terrifying but thrilling? That sounds about like I expect. I'm going up next Sunday night.

I'm inspired by your tenacity! How weird and cool that we're both doing this at the same time. Were there any jokes that played especially well?