June 21, 2007

Six Degrees of Celebrity Butt

My brother's butt touched Harrison Ford's butt at some party a few nights ago in NYC. Andrew turned back-to-back with Indiana Jones as they approached each other in a walkway so as not to have the shrieky, awkward, face-to-face celebrity encounter my brother saw Han Solo having all night long. He won't stop talking about it. (My brother, of course. Not Detective Captain John Book.)

And, as a friend at a message board pointed out (thanks, Jett Rink!), every time you touch someone's butt, you're touching everyone's butt they've touched.

That means my butt has touched Harrison Ford's butt, and therefore Anne Heche's butt, and therefore Ellen Degeneres' butt, and therefore Portia De Rossi's butt, and therefore Calista Flockhart's butt...and therefore Harrison Ford's butt.

That means, as I've always suspected, there were three blonde lesbians and one skinny fake lawyer standing between me and Jack Ryan.

Did I just take the long way around in a game of Six Degrees of Celebrity Butt?


Dale said...

Why then, am I the one who feels dirty. At least he didn't touch his ear where that cute little earring rests.

Bella Rossa said...

Dale, I think we should collectively free ourselves of the harmful taboo of thinking butts are bad. We all have butts. If, truly, we are made in God's image, then does not God, too, have a butt?

Carmi said...

You've reminded me that I need to work on my Dana-Carvey-doing-George-Michael state of buttness before I can even consider taking part in this fascinating activity.

I think a few serious bike rides to tone up the posterior are in order before I chime in with my own tales of buttness. Thank you for the inspiration. I definitely needed it on this quiet Monday morning!

Bella Rossa said...

Wow, Carmi, I had forgotten all about Dana Carvey's amazing George Michael imitation. It was about 90% butt, wasn't it?

I don't think you need any special plan to make your butt ready to connect with other butts. All butts are beautiful. I think Harrison Ford would agree with me. ;)