Calpurnia and Elizabeth Take a Nap

Let's tally up the cute points. #1 Kitten. #2 In an underwear drawer. #3 By a doll with her mommy's name on it. #4. Stripes.

Winter's On Its Way

The cats are all over me all night. I keep the window cracked at night because I love the cold, and the girls (see Calpurnia at left, on my boobs despite me trying to nudge her off with my MacBook), are crazy with the snuggling. It'd like to think it's love, but I know it's mostly body temperature maintenance.

My asthma is exercise-induced and triggered by cold dry air, so my exhilarating, sometimes reckless bike runs through dark Chicago streets are punctuated with wracking coughs. But biking gives me that adrenaline rush I cannot live without, so I'm getting out as much as I can.

I'm tough but I'm delicate. My skin sensitivities are in full swing. My sun allergy is less of an issue, but hot showers make me break out in what look like second degree burns. I've even started getting waxed to spare myself ten more minutes shaving in the shower every day.

I moisturize all day long. Every night before bed I slather myself one last time in yummy-smelling lotion and slip into the softest jammies and bedsheets known to humankind. What can I say? I'm a tomboy but I'm still a girl. This time of year, I'm all about being touched by soft things. Give me a cashmere sweater and flannel sheets and I'll be your best friend forever.

Wake Up And Feed Me!

This is my life every morning, times two. Flora is a little more subtle but Calpurnia will lie right on my chest, and stare into my face, and knead her paws on my chin (or mouth!) until I open my eyes and acknowledge her. But at least she's never whipped out a baseball bat...at least, not so far.

Cute Vs. Squishy

I don't know why, but I'm in an animal appreciating mood. Let's pair up the two cutest things I've found online recently with the two most shudder-inducing.

Squeaking and adorable baby animals:

Orphan porcupine with hiccups eating a banana:



Baby panda making pitifully adorable whining noises:



And considerably less cute but equally fascinating squishy animals:

Little octopus escaping from a little hole in a box:



600 pound octopus escaping from all manner of box and tube:

Palate Cleanser of Cute

...and, to offset the "ew" nature of my last post, this burblingly adorable pair of chatty, kissy kitties.

Nature Is Just Messing With Me Now

Check out the creepily human-looking teeth on this squid, a promachoteuthis sulcus. Just looking at it gives me the heebie jeebies. Does this look like something Stan Winston dreamed up, or what?

Breakin' OUT!

When's the last time your dinner ran away from you? A bunch of lobsters in a supermarket in Germany wiggled out of their crates, out the front door, and down the street to freedom.

"Passersby alerted the police at 1:45 a.m., reporting a large number of (lobsters) heading down the street." They've been taken to an animal home and the supermarket has made no move to reclaim them.

I wonder where they would have ultimately ended up, had the police not thwarted their escape. Did they have a plan? Girlfriends they wanted to reunite with? Or just a general urge to get the hell out of that store?

Thanks to Sloan for this link.

Totally Unnecessary Cat Video, 2 of 2

Another cat video thinly disguised as an editing exercise. Don't say you weren't warned. This time I used different titling, shot with the iSight camera, and used what iMovie refers to as the "Ken Burns Effect" (no, seriously) on still photos. I also used the letterbox feature to obscure the boob spillage that happened every time I leaned over to kiss Flora.

How do I justify this silliness? Well, first, Flora is almost ten years old, is not going to live forever, and no video footage exists of her, so when she jumped on my lap this morning, I flipped on the camera. I always need more editing practice. And if I'm going to shoot and edit something, why not archive it online? Finally, let's be honest. This is a blog. You want substance and erudite editorial comment? Read the New York Times.

Blooming Bubbles Are Soft and Go "Purrrrrrr"

I solved my camera/computer issues! So...pictures.

Two still-blooming complimentary flowers from last weekend's Andersonville Sommerfest, where I worked as a volunteer at the Edgewater Historical Society booth. Fortunately, no one approached me expecting any historical expertise, because all I would have been able to offer would have been something like "this Cheetah gym has been serving organic smoothies since 2005, and in 1861 was a campaign stop for Lincoln, who delivered a whistle stop speech on that very treadmill."

A few weeks back I was making myself miserable by locking myself in my apartment and working like a deadline-crazed hamster. (Seriously, I have to stop doing that.) I finally emerged, blinking and disoriented, mid-afternoon, and went downstairs to check my mail. Among that day's USPS offerings was a little box that mysteriously rattled when I shook it. A fruit-flavored rattle, as it turns out. Novelty gum! It was the perfect antidote to my mood. Thanks, unspecified sibling who knows how to make me laugh!

And finally, since sassy Calpurnia gets all the play around here, a tribute to my quiet little shadow, my lapwarmer and co-editor on all important projects, Flora. She was named for the Amish part of my family and reflects their gentle, withdrawn ways. Some people believe her to be a myth, because she hides under the bed when strangers visit. Yes, she is as soft as she looks, and she's very loving and affectionate, which is great because she needs some redeeming cuteness to balance out the fact that every few weeks she pukes up these long, warm, turdlike things that are a mixture of food, hair, and whatever bugs she may have eaten during the day. Usually on my bed.

The Internet Is a Useful Thing (For Once)

*My blog bud Collin over at Fizzle and Pop has started doing graphic design tutorials and putting them on his blog, explaining and demystifying the creative process as he goes. So cool! Of course, as you already know, I'm all about artists making the creative process transparent online, but I think this is especially cool. Once again, I have to ask: why aren't more people doing stuff like this? Imagine the practical and specialized knowledge that could be dispersed to all corners of the globe.



*My brother Andrew got a little industry attention for his Chicago Olympic direction efforts. Supposedly there's going to be something about him coming up in the Trib, as well.

*The Gongs, AKA my darling friend Brandi, are (is?) getting even more internet famous, thanks to the enchanting and infectious "The Dinosaur." First, there was the mention on Said The Gramophone. "So who are these people? Who are The Gongs? Let's make it up: they're three linguistics majors and a physics major. They're all taking a class on dinosaurs, because they like them. And they all have to do a presentation before the class on the subject of dinosaurs. And as they're meeting at the library one day the physics dude - who is a music-head, a dandelion, a wannabe indiepop star, - he convinces the linguistics girls to do a song..."

Now, The Stypod hearts "The Dinosaur" as well. "The dinosaur of the Gongs’s 'The Dinosaur' is a similarly peaceful creature: he 'won’t eat your friends' because 'he loves you'; he’ll even 'cook the food for the barbecue in your backyard.' Like those who explore the damp, tangled forests of the Congo, the Gongs—a girl named Brandi who doesn’t play a gong—are believers, and their work is a movement of faith. Both believe in the persistence of the past: certain things, they insist, certain things last, whether it is a creature whom extinction forgot or a childhood fantasy that never faded away..."

And approaching 3000 people have seen this cute video that a teenage girl made of her cat, set to a soundtrack of...yes, "The Dinosaur." AND, another popular music blog, catbirdseat, put "The Dinosaur" on the april 2007 mix and there's some more love here. And my friend Dan, who tells a dinosaur joke from time to time, is using the song on his MySpace.

*Also, this simply must be posted. Have you ever seen anything so awesome? That little tortoise is a bad ass hard-shelled little dude.

A Bullet-Pointed Recap of My Weekend

Highlights include, but are not limited to:

*Getting very excited about new assignments from two local magazines, and a potentially big new project with a writing partner.

*Lunch with three vegetarians at (of all places) Hamburger Mary's.

*Writing tons of new stand-up material.

*Helping to paint Sloan's new apartment (and by that I mean lounging on her futon, tapping away on my laptop as she slathers gallon after gallon of bright beautiful yellow on the walls of her new sunroom).

*Post-painting celebratory caramel apple martinis at Marty's.

*Riding my (finally spring-ready) bike to see a friend guest-sing with the Delafields at Simon's Tavern. (Yes, he did rock. Rather hard.) Interrupting his bartop doodling to request a "mermaid with swimmer's arms, like mine" (at left). Marveling at the mermaid's merboobs.

*Continuing to wrestle with expandable posts in Blogger, going so far as to actually dream in HTML, and still not figuring it out. Also struggling with logging into the new Flick account I set up to start sharing photos online. Sometimes I am a frustrated nerd.

*Appreciating the beautiful view of Lake Michigan from my new apartment. No longer whining about my ancient and food-freezing fridge because my building unexpectedly sent up a brand new one. (No, really, food-freezing. Ever seen a jar of pickles frozen solid? It's a little creepy.)

*Thinking about actually sprucing up my home a bit with some paint and some shelves, instead of continuing to live in the "one foot out the door, I'm not going to be here that long, anyway" frame of mind.

Valentine's Day, Naked Mole Rats, and Creative Inspiration

It's Valentine's Day. It's time to stop whining about the obvious inconveniences of the harsh Chicago winter, get schmoopy, and count my blessings.

Bella Rossa is two years old! I had forgotten that yes, indeed, I began blogging the week of Valentine's Day 2005. Here's the first week of posts, crappy graphics and all. I was living in a tiny town in Indiana, vaguely dreaming and hoping of a move to Chicago. I had no idea all the great new friends and amazing experiences that were in store for me, and all the opportunities that blogging would invite into my life.

Cuddly cats. My girls, their little feline souls already softly shaped by my affectionate and indulgent hand, are even sweeter and more eager for physical reassurance when it's this cold. The windows by my bed leak a terrible little chill across the blankets all night long, and my little fuzzbunnies sneak under the blankets with me and curl up under each of my arms, giving me a little purring bundle of warmth to soothe me through the night.

Indoor time can mean productive creative time. Yes, I miss sunshine. Have I lost my tan (like I ever really had one)? Yes. I'm beyond the pale. I'm translucent. In the mornings when I wander outside, blinking into the daylight, reddened by the windchill, I feel like a naked mole rat, startled and pitiful and ill-suited for life above ground. My hibernation appetite is monstrous - I've eaten more pizza, nachos and sweets in the last week than six average Bears fans (thank god for the no-excuses gym, about a hundred steps from my front door).

But cabin fever can sometimes give way to beautiful crazy creative spurts. My little group at Second City has been hard at work on our sketch show. I've annoyed our director with eight drafts of my sketch and even snuck in a wonderfully weird musical number for our actors to play with.

After a half-frozen but fun trip to the art supply store, Sloan has been painting a lot this week, and including me in some fun crafty art projects. We've also done some really cool photography for her new website (I'll post the link when she's put the finishing touches on it).

And last night, in the middle of a blizzard, Sloan and I (cooped up in my studio apartment, and then hers) came up with a whole new strategy for some of our creative exploits. I can't go into details yet, but suffice it to say that in the next two weeks or so I'm going to pull something ridiculous and totally cool out of my hat and slap it all over the internet. And it's honestly the kind of idea you can't have when it's sunny and beautiful and 72 degrees outside, because then you're too busy bike riding, swimming and flopping on a blanket in the park with a good book and a cute boy.

So Happy Valentine's Day, my beloved readers. Count your blessings. Go kiss someone you love.

Squirrel Rescue

Squirrel Rescue is making me feel bad about the time I smeared Crisco all over a housesitting client's birdfeeder stand to keep the dang squirrels out of the sunflower seeds. You should have seen the desperate little claw marks all over the grease.

I wouldn't have cared so much, but my clients had a live feeder cam filming directly onto their corporate internet site, and it would have been totally obvious if I'd let the feeders get low. (Their current feeder cam is in a different place than the one I took care of.)

From "How To Trim a Squirrel's Teeth":

Wrap the squirrel up like a squirrel burrito. This will protect you from scratches and bites and the squirrel from moving during the procedure causing damage to himself. Be sure to have his legs restrained so he cannot wriggle free. Also make sure to cover his eyes as this will reduce stress and keep him more still.
(Via Squirrel Rescue)

Happy Birthday, Snuppy!

The world's first cloned puppy, an afghan named Snuppy (which stands for Seoul National University Puppy), is celebrating his first birthday. Snuppy is healthy and weighs in at about 64 pounds, perhaps a bit more after his birthday treat of ice cream and sausages. Of course I have ethical and moral concerns about cloning, but that's not Snuppy's fault. And the fact that he might represent the destruction of the eternal soul doesn't diminish his adorableness one little bit.

(Via CNN)