Happy Puppy Totally Looks Like Happy Baby

Aww!

President Obama Huggypants

Healing America, one adorable little boy at a time.

RIP, HTTP, etc.

A startling realization, as of this morning: we will all be survived by our blogs and Facebooks. I may leave no mark on the world at large but random comments on friends' blogs and stupid videos I've posted on YouTube will outlive me, and speak for me.

Ancestors will be able to reconstruct my life and gain insight into my character by poring over years of stupid blog entries. Their conclusions? Hopefully charitable. In the meantime, I'll write about everything that tickles my funny bone and triggers my cute detector. To wit, two short and darling vids:

Super mega cute baby learns language to better ask for treats:



Kitten sneezes, than does adorable pitiful newborn kitten mew:



HAPPY FRIDAY!

Look Out, She's Getting Bigger!

Nutella Nonviolent Telfer, I mean Novella Violet Telfer, is growing at an astonishing rate!

Dan blogged:

Took the baby to the pediatrician today. She gained weight, which is good. Better still, she'd gone from 21 to 24 inches. This puts her in the upper 90th percentile for length in newborn 1 week old or younger. So she's a larval Amazon, basically.

Three inches in a week! She is amazing. She's become the unofficial mascot of Chicago comedy. Do you think she knows that so many people are excited about her and talking about her?

Here is an incredibly touching and transcendent post about Novella written by the wonderful Carrie Callahan. Actually, it's so nice, I'm going to post most of it here for your enjoyment, with my favorite parts in bold:

Novella, you decided to join the party at a weird time. We've got some people here that are out of control with violence and greediness. They weren't loved right when they were little. The weather has gotten way more intense because those people have created a world where everything runs on gasoline and coal, and we let them do that because we didn't understand how bad that really was. We've been letting those people run the show for awhile now, hoping to placate them, but that's probably going to end pretty soon. You don't need to worry about it, us guests who have been here for awhile are figuring out how to handle them.

HOWEVER, even though the party has gotten weird, it's still a party! Your hosts, Dan and Vicky, are very kind and smart people, and you are going to have a ton of fun with them. They're going to introduce you to lots of cool people, animals, ideas, stuff to do with your new body (bowling! dancing! softball! punching and kicking! swimming! cuddling! you wouldn't believe all the stuff we've thought up), food, books, pictures, the list goes on and on.

Everyone's been invited to the party for a reason, but the deal is you have to discover your reason, no one can tell you (because we're all as clueless as you are). So take in everything you can, and observe how you feel while you're trying everything out. You have a sensor inside that'll give you a signal when you're getting close to figuring out your reason for getting invited. It's called a 'calling', or a 'vocation', or your 'dharma.' It's a physical sensation, you'll feel all of sudden like you know exactly what to do and that you're in harmony with a larger process. It's cool and a little freaky.

So since we're all trying to find our reasons for the invites, the way to relate to other party guests is to love them. That means when you look at them you try to see all the potential people they could become, and also all of the people they have been. It can be tough to do. Your hosts are your best examples for how to do this, because they effortlessly see all your potential and remember everyone you have been. Now, your hosts will make a lot of mistakes, and as you grow up you'll sort all of that out and figure out where you can do better, but their example is a valuable gift. When you love someone you make it easier for them to discover their reason for the invite, because you're relating to who they really, truthfully are. Oh, and you absolutely have to love yourself. That's actually the most important thing to do, I should've put that first. Being down on yourself is never ever the right thing to do, you're not viewing yourself honestly, and why waste your time?

We're so excited you came! The party needs someone like you to really get bumpin'.

How Much Cute Can You Handle?

I'm idly picking through the internet on this lazy Saturday afternoon, trading videos with a friend. I've just finished convincing him that, in fact, I was lame enough to edit and post a two-minute video of my cat Calpurnia eating edamame (video below):



...when he said "Have you seen the hamster eating broccoli video?" Cuteness off the scale, he insists. So I search on YouTube. Turns out that the world is populated with adorable baby hamsters eating broccoli, because my YouTube search yielded dozens of choices. For your pleasure, I have narrowed it down to the top two most adorable "hamster eating broccoli" videos. Enjoy. Don't thank me, thank the internets!

Wake Up And Feed Me!

This is my life every morning, times two. Flora is a little more subtle but Calpurnia will lie right on my chest, and stare into my face, and knead her paws on my chin (or mouth!) until I open my eyes and acknowledge her. But at least she's never whipped out a baseball bat...at least, not so far.

Cute Vs. Squishy

I don't know why, but I'm in an animal appreciating mood. Let's pair up the two cutest things I've found online recently with the two most shudder-inducing.

Squeaking and adorable baby animals:

Orphan porcupine with hiccups eating a banana:



Baby panda making pitifully adorable whining noises:



And considerably less cute but equally fascinating squishy animals:

Little octopus escaping from a little hole in a box:



600 pound octopus escaping from all manner of box and tube:

Palate Cleanser of Cute

...and, to offset the "ew" nature of my last post, this burblingly adorable pair of chatty, kissy kitties.

Orange You Glad You're a Dreamer?

The psychic dream run continues. Last night I dreamt I was finishing up a visit in Indiana with my parents, and trying to pack my cats into their carrier for the ride home to Chicago. I kept looking into various carriers that were all over the back yard and saying, "These aren't my cats! Whose are these? Mom, where are my cats?"

There were purple cats, and tie-dyed cats, and glittery cats, and one that was speaking French and smoking a cigarette. Carrier after carrier had some unlikely combination of real cats and fantasy cats. The last one I looked into had two baby orange and white kittens in it. They had milk on their mouths and some burrs stuck to their scruffs.

"Well, at least these look real," I said.

Mom walked over to me. "Oh, yeah, you should pay attention to those. I think they want to be yours."

So -- back to reality now -- about an hour ago I was walking from my brother's house to my house, talking on the phone to my mom, and a big orange and white cat came strolling up the middle of the sidewalk toward me. I immediately started giggling. Here's another one, I thought. (And yes, I also thought "I can't wait to blog about this," because I am a nerd.)

He was one of those awesome city cats who's very self-assured, striding down the sidewalk like a person. He walked right up to me and meowed a greeting, like someone saying "Hey, I was hoping I'd bump into you." I petted his head, and he jumped up for a little more affection, twirled around my legs long enough to leave three little black burrs on my pant leg, and trotted off.

This interrupted the conversation with my mom, who said "What's going on? What are you giggling about?"

"There's this cat...oh, I can't explain." I picked the burrs off my pants and looked back at the cat, who gave me a funny little glance over his shoulder and disappeared into some bushes.

Okay, universe, I'm listening. You've warmed me up. I'm paying attention. I know I'm a vessel, or a conduit, or whatever flaky metaphor you prefer. Now what?

Three Guinea Pigs Eating a Cucumber

The last 13 seconds of this video are BLISS.

I'll bet if you did a brain scan on someone as they watched this video, it would show that watching a red, white, and black guinea pig jockeying for position around a giant vegetable has the same positive effect on the brain as meditating. Or eating cupcakes. Or eating cupcakes while meditating.



Watching this reminds me of the dinnertable dynamics at play in my family growing up. Seven people fighting over ten dinner rolls can make something of a blood sport of the evening meal. As the youngest kid in this scenario, is it any wonder that I identify with the little white guinea pig? They don't even let him have a bite until halfway through, when he has to grab the whole cucumber and run off with it. Poor little Elizabeth -- I mean, white hamster!

Micropost

Soooo busy. Can't post. Enjoy baby otter cuteness:

Working From Home Is Problematic

Calpurnia's cuteness is a danger to my productivity. One of many reasons that working from home can be a real challenge. Tap, tap. Nudge, nudge.

Totally Unnecessary Cat Video, 2 of 2

Another cat video thinly disguised as an editing exercise. Don't say you weren't warned. This time I used different titling, shot with the iSight camera, and used what iMovie refers to as the "Ken Burns Effect" (no, seriously) on still photos. I also used the letterbox feature to obscure the boob spillage that happened every time I leaned over to kiss Flora.

How do I justify this silliness? Well, first, Flora is almost ten years old, is not going to live forever, and no video footage exists of her, so when she jumped on my lap this morning, I flipped on the camera. I always need more editing practice. And if I'm going to shoot and edit something, why not archive it online? Finally, let's be honest. This is a blog. You want substance and erudite editorial comment? Read the New York Times.

Calpurnia's Edamame Breakfast

I'm still learning iMovie. Yesterday I spent a huge amount of time editing a video of Sloan's and my trip to the Garfield Park Conservatory. (We each did our own, and I'll post both of them here soon.) Then somehow my whole project was garbled and unfixably screwed up. Argh! So this morning I did this clip as a brief test.

Long ago I bored my readers with tales of Calpurnia's edamame-munching ways, and I guess a photo essay just wasn't enough to tell the tale. So here is video proof that she loves, loves, loves vegetables.

The Internet Is a Useful Thing (For Once)

*My blog bud Collin over at Fizzle and Pop has started doing graphic design tutorials and putting them on his blog, explaining and demystifying the creative process as he goes. So cool! Of course, as you already know, I'm all about artists making the creative process transparent online, but I think this is especially cool. Once again, I have to ask: why aren't more people doing stuff like this? Imagine the practical and specialized knowledge that could be dispersed to all corners of the globe.



*My brother Andrew got a little industry attention for his Chicago Olympic direction efforts. Supposedly there's going to be something about him coming up in the Trib, as well.

*The Gongs, AKA my darling friend Brandi, are (is?) getting even more internet famous, thanks to the enchanting and infectious "The Dinosaur." First, there was the mention on Said The Gramophone. "So who are these people? Who are The Gongs? Let's make it up: they're three linguistics majors and a physics major. They're all taking a class on dinosaurs, because they like them. And they all have to do a presentation before the class on the subject of dinosaurs. And as they're meeting at the library one day the physics dude - who is a music-head, a dandelion, a wannabe indiepop star, - he convinces the linguistics girls to do a song..."

Now, The Stypod hearts "The Dinosaur" as well. "The dinosaur of the Gongs’s 'The Dinosaur' is a similarly peaceful creature: he 'won’t eat your friends' because 'he loves you'; he’ll even 'cook the food for the barbecue in your backyard.' Like those who explore the damp, tangled forests of the Congo, the Gongs—a girl named Brandi who doesn’t play a gong—are believers, and their work is a movement of faith. Both believe in the persistence of the past: certain things, they insist, certain things last, whether it is a creature whom extinction forgot or a childhood fantasy that never faded away..."

And approaching 3000 people have seen this cute video that a teenage girl made of her cat, set to a soundtrack of...yes, "The Dinosaur." AND, another popular music blog, catbirdseat, put "The Dinosaur" on the april 2007 mix and there's some more love here. And my friend Dan, who tells a dinosaur joke from time to time, is using the song on his MySpace.

*Also, this simply must be posted. Have you ever seen anything so awesome? That little tortoise is a bad ass hard-shelled little dude.

The Redder, the Better, No Matter What Anyone Says

A few weeks ago I attended a wonderful girls day/brunch/communicators' networking party at a new friend's house, and part of the day included a workshop with some nice ladies who run an image consulting business. Lord knows as a longtime tomboy, and small town chick recently turned urban writer and comedian, I could use a few tips in sprucing up my image. I got away with wearing jeans, t-shirts, and no makeup for a long time, and that's just not going to work with what I'm trying to accomplish in my life right now. My image is just something I've never had to think about until now. But one of the pieces of advice I was given had me worried. "Lose the red hair," was the suggestion. Actually, it was delivered a bit more gently than that, but it made me think. "Try dark brown, with some light blonde highlights, and, since you do comedy, maybe go for something flippy and playful. But the orange is not working for you." Orange.

A week or so before, Sloan and I had attended a lecture at Northwestern by the woman who wrote this book: Keeping Your Brand in Demand, which is, similarly, about image projection, and making sure that people get the impression of you that you want them to have. One of the things she mentioned was having continuity with your visual style. Red hair has been one of the only consistent things about my style, and for goodness' sake, my online persona has been branded "Bella Rossa."

Last Sunday my family and I and several friends went out for Sunday brunch. We tried to get into Tre Kroner but it was way busy and we reached that level of impatient hunger that drove us to hop in our cars and head up the street for other options. After a very satisfying stack of strawberry pancakes, my mom and I skipped off to the ladies room, doing our usual joking and laughing thing. I don't even remember what we were talking about, but at one point I heard a little girl waiting by the sink giggle at something we'd said, and when I stepped out, I saw an adorable little chubby freckly red haired girl. Her expression brightened even more when she saw me. "Hey!" She said. "You look like me!" "Hey!" I said to her. "You have pretty hair." The little girl seemed so pleased with seeing another redhead, and it was so sweet the way she blushed when I complimented her.

That's it. I'm keeping the red. For now, at least.

RDA of Cute

I know, you're used to content and substance here. What can I say, I'm sick. So please indulge me while I post nothing but cute. (My brothers can skip this entry, since they're generally uninterested in this sort of thing.)

First, the cutest zoo animal clip I've seen lately. Floating otters holding hands? I can feel my cold symptoms melting away! Might want to turn down the volume, though, the spectators' "awww" noises might be a bit much for the testosterone-impaired:



And finally, my cat Calpurnia, in a recently rediscovered video I had forgotten about. It's one full minute of her playing in fresh laundry. Don't say I didn't warn you:

Squirrel Rescue

Squirrel Rescue is making me feel bad about the time I smeared Crisco all over a housesitting client's birdfeeder stand to keep the dang squirrels out of the sunflower seeds. You should have seen the desperate little claw marks all over the grease.

I wouldn't have cared so much, but my clients had a live feeder cam filming directly onto their corporate internet site, and it would have been totally obvious if I'd let the feeders get low. (Their current feeder cam is in a different place than the one I took care of.)

From "How To Trim a Squirrel's Teeth":

Wrap the squirrel up like a squirrel burrito. This will protect you from scratches and bites and the squirrel from moving during the procedure causing damage to himself. Be sure to have his legs restrained so he cannot wriggle free. Also make sure to cover his eyes as this will reduce stress and keep him more still.
(Via Squirrel Rescue)