Batman Blows Up Chicago, Casts Evil Spell on Chicago's Children

Batman (or some bad guy...who's the bad guy in "Dark Knight?") blew some stuff up today in my fair city.

Yes, they've been filming the new Batman movie here in Chicago for several months. Lots of my nerd friends were e-mailing each other about the impending explosion of an old Brach's candy factory downtown today.

"Dude, take a long lunch. It's Wednesday, anyway, so we have to get to the Vault for the latest issue of Wildstorm's Stormwatch: PostHuman Division. Come on!"

The Tribune was there. "Streams of gold fireworks shot out one window of the structure. Windows were blown out, and then more fireworks came from another part of the building. A ball of fire, a wave of heat, a cloud of smoke and the structure started coming down."

But here's my favorite part:

"I loved it," 7-year-old William Smith said as the smoke started to clear. "One day I'm gonna blow up my own house."

I love you, crazy big city livin'.

Compression Rate High: 3 Years of Chicago Underground Comedy Awesomeness in 64 Seconds

A prototype of a promotional ChUC video. Do you have 64 seconds? Click here and get a glimpse of what's so damn cool about Chicago Underground Comedy. Photos by the greatest fangirls in the world. Editing and weird music by me.

Three Guinea Pigs Eating a Cucumber

The last 13 seconds of this video are BLISS.

I'll bet if you did a brain scan on someone as they watched this video, it would show that watching a red, white, and black guinea pig jockeying for position around a giant vegetable has the same positive effect on the brain as meditating. Or eating cupcakes. Or eating cupcakes while meditating.



Watching this reminds me of the dinnertable dynamics at play in my family growing up. Seven people fighting over ten dinner rolls can make something of a blood sport of the evening meal. As the youngest kid in this scenario, is it any wonder that I identify with the little white guinea pig? They don't even let him have a bite until halfway through, when he has to grab the whole cucumber and run off with it. Poor little Elizabeth -- I mean, white hamster!

Rough Edit - ChUC Teaser Clip

A prototype of a promotional ChUC video. Do you have 66 seconds? Click here and get a glimpse of what's so damn cool about Chicago Underground Comedy. Photos by the greatest fangirls in the world. Editing and weird music by me.

(EDIT: this is version THREE. As my co-producer Dan pointed out, I had the address wrong. Duh. And then there were some issues with the credits. Whatevs.)




(EDIT AGAIN: I deleted the earlier versions. Check out the final video here.)

Great Caribbean Basin End of Summer Party

My brother threw his increasingly larger-scale End of Summer party despite the inclement weather. Lots of my friends were MIA. Didn't show up because you thought a little thing like a thunderstorm would stop us from celebrating? Wrong. My brother directs events on an Olympic scale, people. It was an amazing outdoor party under tents, with a live DJ, an unbelievable assortment of food and drink, little kids splashing through puddles, and fire-eaters as entertainment. Real Cuban mojitos, New Orleans jambalaya, Filipino wedding cake, and more.

Here's a two minute video I made. I wrote the music, too - it's a little mish-mashy but fun, sort of like the mix of cultures and food and music at the party. Sort of like my family, which we sometimes say is like one big living Benetton billboard -- except our sweaters aren't that nice.

Soft Skills Aren't Helping Me Rotate This JPG

Well, I've tried a million times to post this image right side up, and I just can't seem to figure it out right now. Will fix it when I have the time and patience, in the meantime, a small internet hurrah for my second piece published in the Indianapolis Star.

Brush up on your soft skills, or get left behind, suckas! Don't say I never told you.

(Yes, I am very busy with work and comedy happenings at the moment. Sorry I'm being a slacking blogger. More soon.)

EDIT: eureka! Thank you, Collin.

Detroit? Hells Yeah!

This banner ad caught my eye yesterday. It's designed to attract visitors to the bustling metropolis of Detroit. Some art director did an commendable job choosing the one photo that represents the best of what Detroit has to offer.

"See what's happening in the D!"

Well, a bleached-blonde woman with big bazoombas on full display is smiling and walking toward someone with some nice dreads. Behind her are some unattractive chairs and what look like super chintzy slot machines. The graphics in the ad are strongly visually reminiscent of a can of malt liquor they used to sell at the convenience store by my house.

So I guess that's what's happening in Detroit: Drinking, gambling, and flirting with cheap women. Is that really worth putting a few hundred extra miles on your car when you can get all those things here in Chicago? You bet your D it isn't.

Micropost

Soooo busy. Can't post. Enjoy baby otter cuteness:

I Need to Cut Out Carbs

Am I looking a little chubby around the blowhole these days? Tell me the truth.

My New Role at Chicago Underground Comedy: Producer!

Well, the big news can be officially broken now. For those of you outside of the Chicago comedy scene, there are two long-running alternative stand-up showcases in the city. One is called Chicago Underground Comedy. ("Alternative" means an artist-produced show, not Chicago's only "real" comedy club, the very old school "take your grandma" Zanies.)

ChUC, as it's often called, has been called "...the hippest stand-up showcase to emerge in years." (Chicago Magazine), "One of the hottest shows in town" (Chicago Tribune), "...High-integrity, Chicago style stand-up." "Don't Miss!" (TimeOut Chicago), and lots of other great stuff.

ChUC's founder, producer and stand-up Tony Sam, is moving to L.A. in November. Stepping in for him as producers, PR whizzes, and performers are a very good guy named Dan Telfer, and...Elizabeth McQuern! Ta da!

So, yeah, you might see a whole lot less blogging from me here in the near future, because I have a lot to learn in the next few weeks. I have a lot of people to talk to, lots of phone calls to make, and some small town shyness to finally stuff into a box and tape up airtight. In the meantime, some of my favorite clips of Tony. Check out the awesome ChUC animated logo at the beginning of the first one. I love it!


Tony Sam at ChUC, talkin' bout old souls and bike signals.


Tony Sam at Caroline's on Broadway in NYC.

Fortified With Even More Fruit, Fun, and Frolicking!

A lot of new challenges are popping up on the horizon -- things I've been wanting to do for a long time. Very, very good work and comedy things. More people than ever are going to be counting on me to do my best.

I've got to get even more serious and focused, and take the best possible care of myself. I've got to get good sleep, blast out a lot of energy in the gym, cram myself full of healthy food, and watch out for the twin pitfalls of "comedy food" and beer.

Yes, these are actual pictures of today's lunch. (God, it's so much dumb fun having an iSight camera.) A giant spinach and broccoli salad, five kinds of fresh fruit, and a fistful of vitamins -- even fish oil capsules, which give me weird burps for a few hours afterwards -- oh, here comes one now.

I also need to take better care of myself in other ways. Chill out and let myself enjoy the little things in life. Work more social fun into my calendar. Don't isolate myself and work like a crazy little red hamster when deadlines loom. Don't be afraid to ask for emotional support when I need it.

Another key thing I need to get a better handle on is dealing with the stress that comes from the negativity of others. The more I reach out of my comfort zone and push myself to do new things, the more I'm going to have to deal with people who don't like what I'm doing, don't like me, don't like themselves -- whatever those things are about. I'm always on the lookout for the nuggets of truth that are sometimes buried in angry criticisms, and I'm not a big grudge-holder, but I'm not going to absorb other people's unhappiness and misdirected anger and let it slow me down. If I'm going to do that, I might as well eat bacon burgers and vodka on a barstool at the Cubby Bear and scream at the ball game on tv all day.

Anyway, fruit, fun, and frolicking. That's what I want more of.

How do you strike a balance between life's responsibilities and personal well-being, and manage stress?

Ethnicity-Specific Lip Enhancers

One of my new LipSmackers (yes, hi, I'm 12!) is called "Aztec Punch."

It's a little weird that there is mention of a specific ethnicity in a lip gloss flavor description, isn't it?

If Bonne Bell is looking to expand this product line, some suggestions:

"Caucasian Creme Brulee."

"Pan-African Pomegrate Twist."

"Celtic Cranberry Blast."

"Andalusian Apple Pucker."

"Bakongo Berry."

"Inuit Iceypop."

"Kazakh Kookyfruit."

"Onondaga Oatmeal Pie."

Mmmmmm.

Hometown Girl (Me) Shoves Off, Gets Press

Oh my, things are progressing at quite a disconcerting pace here.

Yes, as I hinted on Twitter, there is some knee-knockingly amazing comedy career news taking shape. I'm going to have to learn a lot in a big hurry and get over more of this shyness. More details forthcoming.

Among recent developments, my hometown paper has profiled me. The headline: "Everybody laughs at the shy girl."

I'm so (typically) embarrassed.

But thank you, Zionsville Times-Sentinel intern Kelly Shaw! You did a bang-up job.

And thank you, Nancy Beckett, for saying such nice things about me.

Sloan's Chicago Botanic Garden Excursion

More from Sloan. This was her trip to the Chicago Botanic Garden, and you can see her real grandma in this one, not some random adorable tiny Asian grandma stand-in. I was just at her house and she showed me the "real," non-YouTube version of this, and it's much much sharper, in fact, this one is disappointingly blocky, but it's still pretty great, and the grandma message at the end made me cry three times in a row. Whatever. I'm a sap. Enjoy.